


Succumb

by ThatBineseWriter



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Entity, Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racist Language, Self-Hatred, Sexist Language, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26897764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatBineseWriter/pseuds/ThatBineseWriter
Summary: She was at the top of the world once: a member of one of the greatest esports team in the world. Fame, the adorations of millions of fans, a purpose, all of it at her fingertips. Then it all came crashing down and Feng Min was left with nothing, her reputation destroyed, disgraced, a shade of her former self.Caught in a seemingly never-ending cycle of self-loathing, she met someone. Hate at first sight, and yet she found herself inexplicably drawn, like a moth to flames. Sometimes, freedom comes from the unlikeliest of sources.
Relationships: Feng Min/Yui Kimura, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 43
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time writing a fanfic. Mostly started writing this because I got bored at work and got nothing better to do, and to also give some love to the two Asian survivors of one of my favorite games. Hope you like it. Though I will warn that this chapter is a little depressing since it's Feng Min during her downward spiral, but things will get better.
> 
> Probably. I don't know, I'm just winging this as I go O~O
> 
> P.S. Feng Min's backstory never specified what esports game she played so I chose League of Legends cuz that's the only esports game I actually know, watch, and play too much of. Hopefully the beginning half won't be too confusing for you all.

“What the fuck are you doing?! Why are you pushing past river with no wards against a 6/0 Camille?”

_ “Shut the fuck up, bitch! I pinged and you didn’t gank earlier when she had no flash and shoving under turret.” _

“Hello?! I’m playing Shyvana and you’re fucking Garen! We have no CC. It’ll be a double kill if I come up after you gave first blood pre-3 and she got Sheen first back!”

_ “Can the two of you stop and just play? We have late-game scaling and—” _

_ “Shut up, you retar—” _

Feng Min disconnected from the voice chat and let out a frustrated groan. The peace was short-lived as the in-game announcer declared that ‘An ally has been slain’ through her headphones.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” She muttered under her breath.

To her non-surprise, her top lane Garen had died  _ again  _ to the enemy Camille 1-v-1. She already knew that the enemy jungler’s probably doing Baron since she was certain she was spotted on a ward in her botside jungle. She could already hear pings from her teammates telling her to go contest but she ignored it, knowing she won’t get there in time. They were also on Dragon Soul point, which is about the only thing her team got going for them in this clusterfuck of a match. If they get this drake, they just might turn this game around.

Hopefully.

So she blast-coned herself into the Dragon Pit and instantly began attacking the Mountain Drake. Shyvana's passive gave her bonus damage to drakes, allowing her to shred through its health rapidly. A ping from her support drew her eyes to the map, where a ward spotted the enemy jungler, Master Yi, running towards her.

_ Fuck. _

A quick press of her ‘tab’ caused her heart to sink. The Master Yi had a KDA of 22/3/12 and was level 16, two levels above her even though she was more than 50 CS above him, giving him Smite advantage.

_ Double fuck. _

The drake’s health is at 25%. Master Yi was at the river, about to be in Smite range and—

Feng Min hit smite as soon as she saw the drake’s hit points go below 800 just as Master Yi reached the pit and the sound of the Dragon Soul being claimed was music to her ears. But it wasn’t over yet. Master Yi could still go for the next best thing, her life.

Master Yi Alpha Strike’d her and Feng Min stood there patiently, watching the half-a-dozen yellow slashes strike at her champion, instantly reducing her health to about two-thirds. As soon as the ability ended and Master Yi reemerged before her, Feng Min hit her ult and her champion leapt forward, transforming into a dragon in mid-air and landing out of the Dragon Pit in her own jungle. She activated her ‘W’ ability and used the movement speed from it to run as far away from the Pit as possible, anticipating Master Yi to chase, though with her lead, he shouldn’t be able to catch up to--

Master Yi flashed past the Dragon Pit and began running at her.

“What the fuck?!” Feng Min yelled to no one. “Who the fuck pinged Yi’s flash earlier?!”

She tried her best to fight him, but she was outleveled and so her screen went gray as her champion died. Feng Min let out a growl, she tossed her hands in the air, and leaned back into her chair. This late in the game, her death timer was too long so she could only watch as the enemy team slaughtered her own, destroyed her inhibitors and nexus turrets, and took her team's nexus, the ‘Defeat’ screen showing before her as it exploded.

The end-game screen came on and she all but went numb as her rank dropped from Master to Diamond IV. In the background, she could already see her toplaner spamming the chat, blaming everyone but himself for the loss, targeting her specifically because of course it’s her fault that they lost. Never mind that she was the only reason they secured every single drake, that she was the reason they lasted as long as they did. But it didn’t matter to him, in his eyes, ‘bitches like her should just go back to the kitchen’ and that she was nothing more than a ‘talentless has-been who was only recruited into an esports team to serve as stress relief for the male players and eye candy for the audience’.

Talentless… slut… bitch… chink… whore… 

Always the same insults, always the same slurs.

There was a time when she would argue back, to fight for just a modicum of respect, but she had since learnt that it was futile, that all it did was make it worse, or have her labeled as ‘difficult’, or both. Instead, she just left the end-game screen, not even bothering to report him. 

Not like reporting did anything anyway.

She slumped onto her chair and tried to fight the beginnings of a headache building. She pulled her headphones off and tossed it onto the table, rubbing her sore ears. Her headache didn’t subside, but it wasn’t getting any worse so she took that as a win. She sat up, feeling her back crack from her horrible sitting posture.

“Goddamnit.” Feng Min breathed out. “I need a drink.”

She groped about her desk, fingers circling around a can and lifted it only to find it empty. Frowning, she eyed left side of her table, where half-a-dozen beer cans were clumped together, some standing, others knocked over. All of them empty. She turned and scanned her floor, her computer screen the only source of light in her dark room. Empty beer packs and bottles buried among scattered clothes. 

“Fuck.” She rubbed her face as her annoyance rose, which set off her headache again.

She looked at the glowing numbers on her clock hanging from the wall: 12:25a.m..

Thirteen hours of playing and she only won about a third out of… she didn’t even remember how many games. All her losses had blurred together by this point, trying and failing to carry toxic and inting teammates, teammates who wore at her patience, who fought and challenged her at every point, scrutinized her every move, every decision, exaggerated her every mistake, forcing her to prove her skills. 

Over and over and over.

She had grown a thick skin to bullshit like this, but tonight was particularly brutal and she was  _ tired.  _ Why did she even play anymore? What did she get out of it besides insults and anger? Why subject herself to this same cycle of toxicity over and over again? Even winning didn’t give her any satisfaction anymore. 

The answer was the same every time.

It was all she had left.

Feng Min shook her head and clapped her hands on her cheeks a few times, letting the pain disperse the dark turn her mind was tumbling towards. She heaved herself off her chair, a bit too quickly and a wave of vertigo hit her, almost sending her falling back down. She caught herself on her table and took a few steadying breaths. 

She was done for the day. She couldn’t vouch for her mental state if she continued playing after that mess of a game, might probably get herself banned again. Always strange how her defending herself from misogynist and racist pieces of shit got her in trouble more than said pieces of shit.

The vertigo passed and she pushed herself away from her gaming desk, stepping over discarded beer cans and bottles and dirty laundry towards her bed. She didn’t manage two steps before her eyes fell on the large poster above her bed. 

Feng Min saw herself staring back, standing straight, arms crossed, a confident smirk on her face, flanked on either sides by her four teammates. They were dressed in black polo and shorts with blue accents, the logo of their team stitched over their right breast. That same logo dominated the top of the poster; a white robot bear wearing a blue visor in front of a black shield with their team name beneath it: Laser Bears. 

She looked so young, so full of life, of hope. Fueled with an insatiable drive to succeed, to be the best. A Feng Min with purpose. 

A Feng Min from a different life.

How much had changed in just three years.

How far she’d fallen.

A lump rose in her throat as she stared, a wave of nostalgia washing over her, conflicting emotions; love, regret, pride, pain, happiness, sorrow. Memories, shattered dreams, broken shards of a life long lost. All of it swirled inside her like a tornado she couldn’t control and she tasted bile in the back of her throat and felt her breath caught in her lungs.

Why? Why did she put up that poster? To reminisce about the glory days? Of the proudest moments of her life? That might have been the case once upon a time, but now they just torture her with what she once had, what she would never have again.

She had to get out. She couldn’t be here any longer, surrounded and constantly being reminded of her failure. She wanted— _ needed _ —to forget. 

She pushed out of her bedroom, half-stumbled down the stairs, staggered into her kitchen, and yanked her refrigerator open. Cold air blasted her face, pushing back the miasma of self-deprecation suffocating her mind. Carton of milk, butter, half a dozen eggs, three-day-old spaghetti in plastic wraps.

No beer. No vodka. Nothing to numb herself with.

“Fuck.” Feng Min’s voice shook as she slammed her fridge shut, hard. The contents rattled, sharp to her ears.

She turned and pressed her back against the fridge door, her head thudding against it as she fought to keep her erratic breathing under control, to fight the bile threatening to spill up her throat.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Feng Min muttered under her breath, frustration welling up. She had meant to go shopping today but had decided to play a couple of games first before heading out. Then she got stuck in a loop of losing and playing and losing again, wanting to just win one game, to break out of her loss streak.

And then it was past midnight.

This late, there wasn’t any shop she could go to, not ones within walking distance anyway. Her only choice was to wait till sunrise, but she didn’t know if she was going to last that long, if she even wanted to last that long. It’s been awhile since she had a breakdown like this. How did she ever cope before without drinking? 

She couldn’t remember. 

It was too much. She needed to forget, drown herself until she became numb to her treacherous thoughts. If she’s out of alcohol and couldn’t buy it, then she just needed to go someplace that served it. There was one close to where she lived. She hesitated. Her splitting headache made the decision for her.

She grabbed her key from the dinner table, pulled on a coat and left.

* * *

Even this late at night, King’s Refuge was still lively. Feng Min could see about a dozen people through the front windows as she crossed the road towards the entrance. The autumn breeze cut through Feng Min’s clothing, right into her bones. She appreciated it, the sharp bite of the cold kept her distracted. She exhaled onto her bare palms, rubbing them together to get some heat into them, briefly regretting not wearing her gloves.

She pushed her way through the door into the bar. Warmth seeped into her, chasing the cold away. She let out a long sigh as she savored it, eyes closed. Soft ambient music danced through the air, alongside the chatter of customers, the clinking of glasses and bottles. The familiar smell of alcohol permeated the space, intermingled with the salty scent of sweat.

Not the most pleasant smell, but one Feng Min was used to. In fact, she was pretty sure she smelled the same way. Her eyes opened and she ran her fingers through the tangled, stringy mess that was her hair, thick and wiry. She winced as her fingers caught on dead knots and held it to her nose. A single sniff almost sent her gagging and she instantly recoiled.

_ Yeah, time for a shower.  _

Shoving her hands into her pockets, she made her way to the bar counter. Out the corner of her eyes, she noticed several heads turned towards her, some casual, others curious, a few wary and suspicious, a handful hostile. The latter she returned with a glare as she passed them by. Her gaze went deadpan as she turned to the man behind the bar.

David scowled as she took a seat before him. “You shouldn’t be here, Min.” He continued polishing a dirty glass, though his eyes never left hers. 

“Yet here I am.” Feng Min gave a shrug as she folded her hands on the bar.

“I seem to remember bannin’ you…”

“…for a month, and it’s been a month.”

David groaned as he put away the glass. “Don’t do this, Min. I don’t want to ‘ave to throw you out again.”

“Nobody’s forcing you to.” Feng Min said as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

Feng Min could see the corner of David’s mouth twitch as he continued staring at her. She held his gaze. 

Anyone would have been intimidated by David King. Who wouldn’t be? The man’s just over six feet tall and built like a brick. Even though he’d shaved off his beard, he still looked like he could throw a full-grown man over his shoulder with one arm. Add that with the black jacket, shirt, and jeans ensemble he’s currently wearing and he looked like he’d just stepped out of a gangster movie. And so it came as no surprise that it ticked David to no end that Feng Min, a petite woman more than a head shorter than him, wasn’t scared of him.

David relented and clicked his tongue in displeasure. “Fine.” Then he held one finger up at her. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Feng Min steepled her fingers and rested her chin on it as she smirked at him, her eyes half-lidded. “You sure know how to make a lady feel welcome.”

“Hah! I’ve met plenty’a ladies and trust me, you ain’t one a’them.” He then looked her up and down and scrunched his nose, leaning back slightly. “When was the last time you had a bath? You smell like shite.”

“How about you stop attacking my womanhood and do your job?” Feng Min bit back.

David shook his head as he slung his hand towel across his neck. “The usual?” He asked, mostly rhetorical as he’d already pulled out a bottle of Smirnoff vodka from behind the bar. He placed a shot glass before Feng Min and made to fill it.

“You know me so well.” Feng Min reached for the bottle, which David instantly held out of her reach.

“Min.” There was a warning edge to his voice.

“What?” Feng Min said, exasperated. “You think I came all the way here in this freezing-ass weather for one shot?” She held her hand out again and made the ‘come hither’ gesture. “Give me the bottle. Just put it on my tab.”

“I don’t care about the money, Min. I’m already goin’ against my better judgement lettin’ you stay. Don’t push it.”

Feng Min let out a long, drawn-out groan as she slumped onto the counter, face flat on it. “Come on, David. I’ve had a long and shitty,  _ shitty _ day, can’t you cut me some slack?”

“Doin’ what? I don’t recall you havin’ a job. Or much of a life.” The last part was added as an aside.

“Fuck you.” Her response came out louder than Feng Min wanted and she had to swallow the words that threatened to follow. She really couldn’t risk David throwing her out now.

And it wasn’t like he was wrong anyway.

She heard a sigh and felt David leaned onto the counter across from her. “Look, Min.” His voice was soft, empathetic, like he felt sorry for her. She hated it. “I know what you’re going through is—”

“No, you fucking don’t!” Feng Min all but growled as her head shot up to fix him a glare, her anger spiking. David’s head jerked back at her sudden outburst, surprise evident on his face and a hint of hurt. A twinge of guilt bubbled up within Feng Min and she looked down, crossing her arms. An apology rose to the tip of her tongue but she didn’t say it.

Couldn’t say it.

“Just give me the bottle.” Feng Min said after a stretch of uncomfortable silence. She tried to keep her voice steady but even she could hear the shakiness in it, how soft it was, how fragile.

David must have too because he was still using that damn voice. “Min—”

“Don’t make me beg!” Feng Min cut him off, probably too harsh, but she didn’t care. It took her awhile to realize that her hands were clenched into trembling fists. She unclenched them and placed them on her lap, away from David’s view.

She still refused to meet his gaze.

Silence.

A soft sigh and the sound of a bottle being placed on the bar. Feng Min saw it slide towards her out the corner of her eyes.

“Just… don’t overdo it.” More a plea than anything.

Feng Min didn’t respond. She heard him move away, leaving her alone to her thoughts.

To her vice.

The guilt continued to gnaw away at her and she grimaced. Why the fuck did David had to be so goddamned nice to her? Be easier if he behaved like the chauvinist jock that he looked like. At least then she wouldn’t feel like such an asshole for being herself around him.

“Way to go,” she muttered to herself as she reached for the bottle and stared at it, “only person to give a fuck about you and you treat him like shit.” She scoffed, bitterness tinged in her voice. “Cheers.”

She tipped the bottle to her lips and chugged.

The intense burn as the alcohol scorched its way down her throat was unpleasant but familiar, and welcomed. It washed over her senses, overwhelming her until all she could feel was the burn. She gasped as she slammed the bottle onto the table, almost doubling over as she coughed, scratchy and coarse, eyes squeezed close, filling with tears. She rode the high, then felt it slowly ebb away, transforming into a pleasant warmth that spread through her body and a slight tingle in her brain.

She opened her eyes, her vision buzzing along the corners, stared at the bottle. She couldn’t hold back a chuckle. She drank about one-third of the bottle in a single swig. In the back of her mind, something whispered that it was a bad idea drinking this much so quickly, especially when she’d barely eaten the entire day. Another shouted for more.

She obliged the latter and took another swig.

Her mind began throbbing, but in a nice way and she found herself chasing that sensation more and so she gulped down more liquid fire that burned and burned through every part of her body and she relished it and the numbness it brought. By the time she came up for air a second time, all she could feel was giddiness and that comforting, familiar buzz in her head. A buzz that chased all semblance of thoughts away and cast off the weight within her mind.

She was about to go for her third swig when she heard the background music shift from soft country to something more rock, with a beat that thumped through her body.

“Now that’s more like it.” She giggled to herself as she pushed herself away from the bar, swaying unsteadily as she did so. “Whoa.” Somehow, she managed to maintain her balance and not faceplant onto the floor, which she found hilarious because she burst out laughing again.

It transformed into a sharp exhale as she rubbed the side of her face and neck. A sheen of sweat covered her skin. Her body's really heating up and she had no doubt that her face was flushed red and her eyes were bloodshot. Asian flush in action. She ripped her coat off, spilling a bit of vodka over herself in the process, and tossed it haphazardly over her stool. She started wobbling her way towards the dance floor, already getting into the beat as she swayed and bobbed and…

…slammed right into someone walking the opposite direction.

“Ow, watch where you’re going, asshole!” The words spilled from Feng Min’s lips as she fought to keep her balance, vodka sloshing out of her bottle and spilling over her hand. 

“Well, aren’t you friendly.” A feminine voice replied, soft, husky, and dry.

Feng Min glared at the source, or tried to because her vision’s starting to swim. She blinked several times, shook her head, and everything stopped dancing enough for her to focus.

The first thing she noticed was long dirty blond hair and a pair of purple-tinted goggles pulled up onto forehead. Sharp dark brown eyes stared at her, half in amusement. Light makeup dusted across strong, narrow face, accentuating already prominent cheekbones. Thin lips, glossed with chapstick, were pulled into a slight scowl, belying irritation.

Her outfit screamed ‘bad biker chick’, so loud even Feng Min’s woozy mind could hear it. Dark blue leather jacket was unzipped to reveal a pink top, smudged with dirt and oil stains, that left her well-toned midriff bare. Matching leather pants and boots completed her ensemble. There were golden characters along the sleeves and a logo on the left side of the jacket. 

Feng Min assumed they were Japanese if only because the woman looked like one. At least she thought so. Feng Min was embarrassingly incapable of telling Asian people apart sometimes, even her own people. Not that she’d ever admit it to anyone.

“I’m not friendly to people who smacked into me and made me waste my drink.” Feng Min lifted her half-empty bottle accusingly at ‘Biker Chick’.

“I think you have that mixed up.” She replied with the same dry tone, still staring down at Feng Min, one hand on her hip.

The woman had a good few inches over her, which pissed Feng Min off.

“What, you calling me a liar?” Feng Min leant up into Biker Chick’s personal space and glared at her.

Biker Chick’s nose twitched, as if she smelled something unpleasant, and tilted her head to the side. “I think I’m calling you ‘drunk’.”

Then she casually swiped Feng Min’s bottle right from her grasp. By the time Feng Min's alcohol-addled mind caught up to what happened, Biker Chick was already downing what’s left of her vodka.

“You fucking bitch!” Feng Min growled and lunged at her, hands grasping for her bottle. “That’s mine!”

Biker Chick - no, Biker Bitch was more fitting - didn’t respond, didn’t stop drinking. She just kept Feng Min at arm’s length with her free hand, pushing against her chest, batting her grasping hands away like they were nothing. Feng Min cried out in frustration and charged again, trying to brute force past the woman’s firm arm.

A single shove sent Feng Min stumbling backwards unceremoniously and hitting the bar. She just managed to catch herself and not fall flat on her face. The pain that throbbed on her back was nothing compared to the anger and indignation rising inside her as she righted herself and glared at Biker Bitch, who had stopped drinking and was now staring at her. Even in Feng Min’s state, she could see the mocking glint in her eyes and Feng Min felt her face burn from more than just alcohol.

“Not anymore, princess.” Biker Bitch said. 

Feng Min bristled at that. Even though her voice still remained neutral and deadpan, she could hear the condescension in it. Could  _ feel  _ it. Then to add insult to injury, Biker Bitch raised the bottle to her lips again but this time, she kept eye contact with Feng Min as she drank.

_ That. Fucking. Bitch. _

A feral, almost animalistic cry tore its way from Feng Min’s throat as she shoved herself away from the bar and pounced on Biker Bitch again. She barely saw Biker Bitch react before Feng Min felt the wind knocked out of her as a forearm pushed hard against her collarbones and shoved her back. Feng Min hit the bar again, the forearm pressing her hard against the bartop, forcing her to arch her back uncomfortably.

Biker Bitch stared down at Feng Min, her expression still infuriatingly deadpan, one arm keeping her at bay, the other holding the bottle just within her eyesight, as if taunting her with it. Feng Min growled and struggled but Biker Bitch’s hold was too strong and all she did was hurt herself. 

“Maybe princess is the wrong word for you.” She said, telltale sign of a smirk quirking the corner of her lips. “I’m thinking… mutt.”

“Fuck you!” Feng Min exploded, pulling at Biker Bitch’s arm to no avail. “Get the fuck off me!”

“And what language, definitely not a princess.” Then she leant close to Feng Min’s face, way too close, causing her to still. She could feel the woman’s breath on her lips as she whispered. “Though I suppose even a princess needs a firm hand from time to time.”

Before Feng Min could even process her words, she backed off and pulled her arm back, leaving Feng Min lying there on the bar. 

_ What the fuck was that? _

Feng Min quickly pushed herself off the bar, back to her feet, opened her mouth and—

“Really, Min? Five minutes?” David’s exasperated voice reached her from her right. “You couldn’t at least wait an hour before you start picking fights with my customers?”

Feng Min turned to David, saw him giving her that ‘disappointed’ look she had become all too familiar with in recent years, and felt shame burning inside her. She shoved it aside.

“I didn’t do shit!” Feng Min spat out as she eyed Biker Bitch accusingly. “She fucking stole my drink!”

“I did you a favor.” Biker Bitch said as she sipped on  _ her  _ bottle, still staring at Feng Min as she did.

“Why you f—” Feng Min strode forward only to be cut off by David as he grabbed her above the elbow and tugged. “Ow, what the fuck?!”

“You’ve had enough, Min.” David said. “I’m taking you home. Evan, watch the bar, I’m leavin’ for a bit.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Came a reply.

David refocused his attention on Feng Min, who was struggling futilely. “Come on, let’s go.” He jostled her painfully and began pulling her towards the exit.

“Let me go, you fucking brute!” Feng Min tugged and twisted but David’s grip was too strong.

“I apologize, Miss Kimura.” She heard David say as they passed Biker Bitch by. “I assure you this is not a regular occurrence here.”

“Why are you apologizing to her?!” Feng Min cried indignantly. “She fucking started it!  _ She  _ should be the one getting thrown out!”

Feng Min threw a dirty glare at ‘Miss Kimura’, who just said, “No worries. It made things interesting at the very least.” Then she fixed Feng Min a look she couldn’t identify. “Thanks for the drink, princess. I owe you one.”

She held the bottle up towards Feng Min in a ‘cheers’ gesture and took another sip. Feng Min could  _ swear  _ she was smirking as she did.

“You fuckin—”

“Min, enough!” David jostled her yet again and pulled her harder.

“Ow, fuck! Alright, alright!” Feng Min winced at the pain as she struggled to keep up with David’s pace. “No need to yank my arm off.”

The chill of the night air stabbed into Feng Min as they left the bar. She couldn’t suppress the shudder that went through her, reminding her that she was in nothing but her pyjamas from last night--a very worn T-shirt and sweatpants. The layer of sweat coating her skin didn’t help matters.

“I left my coat behind.” Feng Min said.

He didn’t respond, continued walking.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“I’m cold.”

“I don’t care!” The tone of David’s voice stunned Feng Min into silence, making her feel very much like a chastised kid.

The street was empty as they crossed it, the only source of light the streetlights scattered at really large intervals, leaving sections in darkness.

“I can walk on my own.” Feng Min muttered after a stretch of silence, her arm getting sore from David’s death grip on it.

David hauled Feng Min for a few more steps before letting her go. She let out a sharp exhale of pain as she rubbed her biceps, walking several steps behind David meekly. Even in her drunken state she could tell that David was  _ really  _ upset.

At her.

The walk took less than three minutes, but to Feng Min, it stretched for eternity. The heavy atmosphere, the awkward silence, and this sinking guilt and shame boiling within her. It frustrated her how much she cared about what David thought of her. He’d been one of the few, the  _ only,  _ people to stay by her side when she was at her lowest point and…

…well, Feng Min didn’t really think she ever left that point. If anything, it felt like she fell even lower.

And now, David was pissed at her. Pissed at her in a way he’d never been before. She wanted to apologize, to try to salvage what she could of whatever it was she had with David. To get down on her knees and beg for forgiveness. But she couldn’t - wouldn’t - do it. Her pride wouldn’t let her. Well, stubbornness was more like it.

Bold of her to assume she had any pride.

The silence endured as they stopped before her front door and she unlocked it, fumbling with the keys a bit before she managed to get it open. She stepped through, placed a hand on the door and lingered. She couldn’t meet David’s eyes as he stood there, staring at her. Probably waiting for her to say something, anything.

But the words get caught in her throat every time she tried to speak.

The awkwardness stretched and the longer it went, the more pathetic Feng Min felt. That seemed to be her default state nowadays.

Eventually, she managed a soft, weak “thank you” and began closing the door, still unable to look at David.

“Get help, Min.” His voice was hard, firm, causing Feng Min to stiffen. Then a softer, “please.”

He walked away. Even with his back turned, Feng Min couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She shut the door, locked it, and turned to face the rest of her home—dark, messy, disheveled. 

Just like her.

Her echoing footsteps followed her as she headed up to her bedroom. She was filthy, sweaty, and disgusting, and in need of a shower. But she just couldn’t be bothered. What difference would it make? She’d just be back to this state tomorrow anyway.

She threw herself onto her bed, not even getting under the blanket, and closed her eyes. Sleep didn’t come easily despite her exhaustion, but when it did, she wondered for a moment, just a brief moment as consciousness left her, how great it would be, how peaceful, if she were to never wake up again.


	2. Chapter 2

The bad thing about the Asian flush was that it made Feng Min get drunk way too fast on way too little while making her look like she just snorted an entire bag of cocaine. The good thing was it meant her body processed alcohol faster, meaning she had next to no hangover when she woke up the next morning.

Didn’t do shit for the aches throughout her body though. Feng Min groaned as she shifted in her bed, stretching and arching her back. It didn’t help. She felt like she was hit by a car, which then reversed over her corpse a few times. 

Then the smell hit her, a mixture of sweat and alcohol. Finally, memories of the previous night hit her and her mood instantly soured. Well, more than it already was anyway. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday. A quick look at the clock told her it was just past noon.

Correction: almost two days now.

Feng Min lethargically separated herself from her bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She reheated her leftover spaghetti and scrambled a few eggs for breakfast. It tasted like cardboard but it silenced the hunger gnawing at her. She’s going to need to go shopping today, been putting it off for much too long.

She also needed a shower desperately, but eh, she could always do that once she got home. She did need to change though, The clothes she’s wearing right now were hazmat-level filthy and she had just enough pride left in her to at least make herself somewhat presentable before going out during the day. 

She should also at least brush her teeth. 

As she did so, she examined herself in the mirror. Her skin had an unhealthy sheen over it and felt tacky and crusty, which made the dark bags under her eyes stand out that much more. Her hair was a thick, tangled mess riddled with dead knots, the straight bangs almost reaching her eyelashes and the rest falling almost to her shoulders. It also had an oily shine to it.

In other words, she looked like absolute shit. Washing her face and tearing a comb through her hair didn’t help that much, but at least she felt slightly refreshed, so that’s something. 

Pulling on a somewhat fresh shirt, jeans, and socks she grabbed from one of the numerous ones scattered across her bedroom floor, she was about to step out of her house when she realized that her coat was missing. 

_ Oh right, I left it at the bar. Shit. _

Well, a pit stop couldn’t hurt. Apprehension filled her as she thought about seeing David again, especially after how last night went. Not like she had any choice, that was her only coat and she didn’t much like the idea of shopping without it considering how cold it’s been getting. And it wasn’t even winter yet.

Feng Min sighed and muttered, “Band-aid, rip it off fast.”

She stepped outside.

* * *

Feng Min parked her car in front of King’s Refuge. There were a couple of people walking about, the occasional car sputtering down the road. The cold engulfed her the moment she stepped outside and she wrapped her arms around herself, speed-walking towards the bar.

She let out a breath of relief as the door closed behind her, letting the warmth work out the chill in her bones. The bar was empty, as was usually the case this early in the day. She spotted Evan, one of David’s staff, cleaning the ancient jukebox to one corner. He spotted her and gave a friendly wave, though she could see the guarded expression behind his smile.

Feng Min couldn’t really blame him. She would be wary of herself too.

“Miss Feng.” He said. “Rare to see you out and about while the sun’s up.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.” She said sardonically. “I left my coat, just dropping by to collect it.” She looked around. “Where’s David?”

“Oh, bollocks. Back already?” David cut in as he stepped into the bar from the back door, he had her coat slung over one hand. “I knew that chill I felt up my spine wasn’t just the cold.”

For a moment, Feng Min was at a loss for words. David was treating her the way he usually did as if last night didn’t happen. She wondered if it was for her sake or his own. Either way, she wasn’t going to complain.

“Get off my back, King, I’m just here for my coat which I, y’know, left behind because you dragged me out like I’m some sort of wild animal.”

“Considering the way you behaved yesterday, I’d say you’re on point.”

Feng Min scoffed. “Alright, I concede that I  _ may  _ have overdone it a bit…”

“A bit?” He gave her a look.

She ignored him and continued, “…but it wasn’t all on me. That chick with the jacket started it.”

“Oh right, when she ‘stole your drink’” David said in a mock tone.

“She literally shoved me against the bar!” 

“You probably deserved it.”

Feng Min wanted to argue back, but thought better of it. “Just give me my coat.”

David tossed it to her and watched as she pulled it on. Feng Min turned to go, paused, turned back.

“Who is she anyway? Never seen her around before.”

“That’s because she isn’t local. Name’s Yui Kimura. Just moved to Sally’s old place in Crotus Lane yesterday from what I hear.”

“Yui.” Feng Min echoed, then she grimaced. “I don’t like her. Hope she doesn’t make it a habit of coming here.”

“You say that as if you’re going to come here more often.” David’s voice took on a warning edge.

“Relax. I learnt my lesson, don’t drink on an empty stomach. I’ll make sure to eat before I stop by next time.”

“That’s not—”

“Anyway, I gotta go.” Feng Min gave him and Evan a mock wave. “See you around.”

“Try not to cause too much trouble.” David’s parting words followed her as she left the bar.

* * *

The town mall wasn’t big, just a rectangular white box with a small almost-empty parking lot before it. Feng Min parked her car close to the front entrance, grabbed a trolley next to it and entered. 

She beelined to the pasta section and grabbed as many packs of spaghetti and cans of bolognese as she could, piling them into her trolley until she was sure she had enough to last her at least two weeks. She then grabbed some minced meat and sausages to go along with her pasta and she was essentially set for food.

As she made her way to the cashier, she caught sight of the ‘alcohol’ aisle and slowed. She bit her lower lips as she wrestled with her inner self. She  _ was  _ out and if she bought more, then she didn’t have to go to David’s bar and risk making a fool of herself. 

Yeah, buying more alcohol now was better for everyone involved.

She angled her trolley towards the aisle and—

“Wow, you really love pasta, don’t you?” A familiar voice spoke from behind her, freezing her on the spot.

Even as she turned to face Biker Bitch, she could already feel her annoyance rising. No, her name was Yui, though Feng Min didn’t think someone like her deserved a name as pretty as that. She was still dressed in her biker chick getup, though she’d traded her pink top for a white one, also smudged with oil stains and dirt.

“What, are you stalking me or something?” Feng Min couldn’t keep the bite out of her voice as she started walking away. 

Yui annoyingly followed suit, carrying a hand-held basket filled with her own groceries, though not as much. Feng Min made a disgusted noise as she kept pace with her.

“Just doing a little shopping,” Yui replied, her voice still infuriatingly deadpan, matching the expression on her face, though Feng Min could see the amusement in her eyes, “and exploring, getting to know the area,” she fixed Feng Min a look, “and the locals.”

“Okay, so go do that. Why are you following me?”

Yui shrugged. “Boredom.”

A flash of irritation and Feng Min stopped walking and faced Yui. “Well, then why don’t you go entertain yourself somewhere else? I’m not in the mood.”

Yui stared at her, expression unreadable. Feng Min’s glare faltered and her eyes flickered away for just a split second before going back to Yui.

“Okay.” Yui said, taking several steps backwards. “You take care.”

She turned and walked away. Feng Min watched her go, frowning. That was easier than she’d expected. She was honestly expecting Yui to be more… she didn’t know, more  _ something _ . Well, she wasn’t going to linger on it. The less time she had to spend around that woman, the better.

Three cartons of beer later and Feng Min was at the checkout counter. 

“Hi, Min!” The cashier greeted Feng Min as she placed her stuff onto the conveyor belt. “How you been? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Feng Min recognized the girl, brown hair tied into a ponytail, light blue eyes, really prominent jawline, one of the few people in town she actually made an effort to learn the name of. She liked Nancy well enough, though the extent of their interactions basically amounted to this; small talks and pleasantries whenever Feng Min came shopping. But the girl’s nice and really sweet so Feng Min usually put in more of an effort to be friendly. At the very least she didn’t react to her extremely disheveled and unkempt appearance so that was definitely a mark in Feng Min’s ‘be nice to’ column.

“Hey, Nancy.” Feng Min smiled thinly back, one she actually meant to her own surprise. “Yeah, been busy.”

Nancy nodded as she began scanning her purchases. “I see, that’s good to hear. Always nice to keep busy.”

“Yeah.”

They drifted off into silence, but a comfortable one as Feng Min waited for Nancy to finish. She liked that about her. Nancy never pried or tried to get too personal.

“Alright,” Nancy said as she bagged the last item, “that’ll be a hundred twenty-three fifty.” 

“Sure thing.” Feng Min reached into her pocket and—

“It’s on me.”

A loud thud sent a jolt through her and she whirled around to come face-to-face with Yui, who’d just dropped her basket onto the conveyor belt. And just like that, the pleasant mood she’d cultivated in her brief time with Nancy was shattered and her foul mood returned.

“What the f—” she retained enough self-control to not swear in front of Nancy, “what the hell are you doing? I thought I told you to leave me alone.”

Yui looked at Nancy, who had been watching with wide eyes and stiffened at Yui’s attention. “I’m paying for her.” 

Feng Min frowned at Yui. “What do you mean ‘you’re paying’?”

“I said I owed you last night, didn’t I?” Yui said, pulling out her wallet. “So here I am, repaying you.”

Yui pulled out her credit card and offered it to Nancy. Feng Min didn’t notice it last night but Yui had acrylic nails, almost three inches long, bright pink, and very well-manicured.

“No, don’t take that card.” Feng Min ordered, halting Nancy, who had been reaching for it. She glared at Yui. “You don’t have to pay for me.”

“I want to.” She returned her attention to Nancy, who barely suppressed a squeak, and held her card out further. “Take it.” 

“No, don’t take it.”

“Uh,” Nancy looked between the two of them helplessly, then she gave Feng Min an apologetic look as she took Yui’s card from her.

Feng Min stared at her with a look of absolute betrayal.

“Sorry!” Nancy sputtered out as she inserted the card into the POS. “But there are other customers and I don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Sure enough, there were three other people lining up behind them waiting their turns, a couple of them looking decidedly unamused by them. Irritation flared in Feng Min but there was nothing she could do about it now other than sigh in resignation, though she did give Yui one last glare as she grabbed her groceries from the counter and placed it into her trolley.

Yui stared back, mild amusement in her eyes though her expression remained neutral. “You’re welcome.”

Feng Min scoffed in disgust and walked off, though not before giving Nancy a dirty look as well, who returned it with a sheepish look, a small wave and a mouthed ‘sorry’.

Outside, Feng Min placed the trolley back where she got it and carried her groceries to her car. Her arms burned by the time she reached it and she dropped them onto the ground. She massaged her biceps and stretched her fingers, working out the fatigue from them. 

She was  _ so  _ out of shape. Back when she was with Laser Bears, physical workouts were part of their schedule on top of their actual game playing. A healthy body made a healthy mind after all. Needless to say, she hadn’t been keeping up with her strict regime after she— 

She snapped herself out of that train of thought though it was too late because she could already feel her mood darkening. Wanting to distract herself, she popped her trunk open and began hauling her groceries into it. Once she was done, she slammed her trunk shut and…

...Yui was standing there by her car, her own groceries in one hand.

An exasperated groan tore its way out of Feng Min’s mouth. “Do I have to get a restraining order? Because it’s really starting to look like you’re stalking me.”

“Thought you might need some help with your groceries.”

“Well, I clearly don’t.” Feng Min said, crossing her arms. “So why don’t you kindly fuck off and leave me alone.”

Yui tilted her head as she gave Feng Min a scrutinizing stare. “You don’t like me that much, do you?”

Feng Min scoffed in disbelief. “Really? You really have to ask? Do I like the bitch who stole my fucking booze then slammed me into the bar,  _ twice _ ! Is it not obvious enough? Do I need to spell it out for you to get it through that thick skull of yours? I. Don’t. Like. You. There, I said it. Now why don’t you—”

Yui’s eyes hardened and she stepped right into Feng Min’s personal space. A jolt of fear went through Feng Min as she involuntarily backed up from Yui, her lower back hitting the trunk of her car, her hands pressed against it. Yui instantly claimed the space Feng Min left behind and soon, she was trapped between her car and the taller woman.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Feng Min spat out, covering her fear with anger. “Back off.”

She tried putting as much strength into her voice but Yui’s gaze caused it to waver. It took everything Feng Min had to maintain eye contact, to fight the urge to look away from her intense stare. There was something about it, a power behind her eyes that silenced whatever else Feng Min had wanted to say. 

It took her a while to realize that she was intimidated.

Just as she felt her resolve crumbling, Yui broke eye contact and Feng Min let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Well-manicured fingers smoothed out imaginary creases on Feng Min’s coat and she went rigid at the contact.

“Your mouth’s going to get you in trouble one of these days.” Yui said, adjusting Feng Min’s collars. “Might need to get that under control.”

Then she turned and walked away, leaving Feng Min still leaning against the trunk of her car, wide-eyed and short on breath, her heart beating a mile an hour.

Feng Min could only watch as Yui got onto a motorcycle on the other side of the parking lot that she didn’t notice before. It was one of those racing motorcycles, sleek and stylish, painted white with pink accents. Slinging the plastic bag over one hand, Yui pulled her goggles over her eyes, leant low over her bike, and revved the engine.

It was a beast, loud and powerful. Feng Min winced slightly at the intensity as Yui tore her way out of the parking lot, the roar of her bike still audible even as she disappeared down a corner. 

Feng Min finally gathered her wits and snapped herself out of… whatever it was she was under. As Feng Min got into her car and started the engine, she had one thought going through her head:

_ What the fuck just happened? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha, Chapter 2! A much lighter and shorter chapter compared to the first one, showing Feng Min when she's not in a bad place (or drunk) and bumping yet again into a certain woman whose very existence seem to piss the ever living hell out of her. Can you also tell I have no idea how American shopping malls work? 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Feng Min was in hell. Yup, sometime within the last week she died, probably of dehydration considering how often she forgot to drink or even eat. There was no other explanation. She’s dead and her soul’s been condemned to hell, forced to endure eternal torment. 

After all, what else could possibly explain the fact that she’d lost  _ every… single…  _ game for the past four days?

She had losing streaks before, that’s just normal, but never one this severe. Not even a single win that entire four days, just losses after losses. It wasn’t even like she was playing badly, she did really well in her games; outfarming the enemy junglers, ganking her lanes and snowballing them as much as possible, securing almost every single objective. 

And yet it still wasn’t enough to garner a single victory.

Which led her to her current state, one hand gripping her hair tight as she watched with horror and sheer disbelief as her rank dropped from Diamond I to Platinum IV.  _ PLATINUM.  _ Barring rank resets, she’d never played badly enough to drop to Platinum. Even just looking at the Platinum emblem filled her with disgust and humiliation and she closed the client, unable to stomach it any longer.

“How the fuck?” Feng Min muttered, still shell-shocked. Then she rubbed her face. “Alright, that’s enough League for the day… or the next week or so.”

She stretched her limbs and neck, hearing them crack after hours of sitting in front of her computer. She checked the time: around four in the afternoon. Maybe it was time for her to play some other games. She had about four hundred in her Steam account that she’s accumulated over the years of being subscribed to Humblebundle, most she haven’t touched. Might as well take this time to get through them.

She booted up Steam and began scrolling through her long,  _ long  _ list of games, trying to find one that pique her interest. It was frankly amazing how she had so many choices and yet still couldn’t pick one. Eventually she got tired of her own indecision and chose to watch some anime instead, where she got hit with the exact same problem of being unable to decide which of the hundreds of animes she had in her backlog to start with.

In the end she just wound up browsing the internet and watching random youtube videos for the next three hours. As she’s halfway through the seventh Let’s Play video of a horror game she’s too scared to play herself, her mind briefly wandered to her own Youtube account.

That was how she had started out, uploading Let’s Play videos of whatever games she had been playing at the time while grinding her way through her Finance degree that she took to get her parents off her back. Then she slowly transitioned to more competitive games. She played them all, from FPS’s, to MMOs, to RPGs, to Beat Em Ups. And she was good, even great at them. But the one genre that captured her interest the most was MOBAs.

She couldn’t exactly place her finger on why even after all this time, but she took to it and soon, she was uploading nothing but MOBA gameplay videos. And from among the dozens that existed, she chose League of Legends as her MOBA of choice. And so she played and played and uploaded, video after video, getting better and better, gaining more and more viewers and subscribers. 

She then transitioned to Twitch and began streaming, and it was there that she began building a community, the seed of her very own fanbase, her name becoming known among the other big name streamers. With how much time she put into streaming, she could no longer keep up with her coursework, and so she did something that got her disowned from her family; she dropped out, became the black sheep of her family, the failure child that would never amount to anything. But she didn’t care, she was doing what she loved, she was happy, and the income she got from her videos and streams were more than enough for her to make ends meet.

Then she received the call, asking her to try out for an esports team. She didn’t even hesitate. It was what she always wanted, what she worked so hard for, and she grasped onto it the moment it came into reach and it pulled her high into the sky where her dreams and hopes were made true.

That was a lifetime ago.

She hadn’t streamed in almost two years. She had tried to get back into it after… everything happened, but it didn’t work out. What had once been fun became tedious, what had once given her joy offered nothing but pain. The internet, so quick to pounce on anyone who showed even an ounce of weakness, and Feng Min had bared her own for the world to see. And just as quickly, the trolls and the haters came. Her name dragged through the mud, her legacy tarnished, her character twisted into the caricatures they forced her into built entirely out of rumors and lies spilled by those who wished death towards someone they didn’t know.

Never mind streaming or uploading, she hadn’t even opened up any of her social media accounts in months as well. For a time, she contemplated deleting them all just to put an end to the constant barrage of toxicity that came through them. She’s not sure why she didn’t back then. She still didn’t now. Hope, maybe. Hope that one day she could go back to the way things were before it all went to hell.

A time when she was happy.

A loud shriek from the video she was watching followed by the Let’s Player screaming in fright jolted her out of her spiralling thoughts. She grimaced, pausing the video and pulling her headphones off, one hand rubbing her face, as if it could scrub off the toxic miasma she had once again allowed to contaminate her mind. She could feel it seeping in, threatening to engulf her and leave her an incoherent, self-hating, self-pitying mess.

She could feel her heart rate picking up, her breath quickening. She shot to her feet and walked away from her computer, stepping over discarded clothes, kicking aside empty cans and glass bottles. One hand tugged at her hair, as if the pain could override the panic attack threatening to overwhelm her. She strode back to her table, grabbed a beer can, cracked it open and began downing it. It didn’t burn quite as hard as vodka and tasted ten times worse, but she could still feel herself getting lost in the glow and the buzz of the alcohol.

Crushing the empty beer can, she tossed it to the floor and wiped her mouth. Her heart was still pounding but she no longer felt like she was suffocating. Though she could still feel it lurking just beneath the surface, ready to break through the moment her thoughts strayed.

She needed distractions, something to keep her mind busy, and she definitely wasn’t going to get it here. And so, she put on her coat and left her home, though not before eating some leftover spaghetti from lunch.

* * *

The bar was more crowded than usual when Feng Min arrived, easily over sixty people, which was strange considering it was the middle of the week. Even stranger was that quite a number didn’t seem to be local. One thing that immediately caught Feng Min’s eyes was that a few of these out-of-towners had flowers either drawn or painted on their faces or arms in a multitude of colors.

A confused Feng Min weaved her way through the crowd towards the bar, where a frantic David was busy taking orders from and serving drinks to the almost a dozen of people before him. It took Feng Min a few tries before she was able to squeeze a spot for herself.

David spotted her and before she could even say anything, cut her off with, “Ah, ah. I’ll get to you later, Min. A little busy, right now” and focused his attention on another customer.

Feng Min frowned at that, then shrugged and muttered. “Okay then.” 

She made herself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as she could be being sandwiched between two people. She looked around, taking in all the people packed into this modestly-sized bar, most of them definitely from out-of-town. There was a buzz in the air, radiating from these newcomers, anticipation, excitement. But Feng Min couldn’t for the life of her figure out what for.

Was there an event happening in town that she didn’t know about? She doubted it. But then again, she wasn’t one to pay much attention to the going-ons of sleepy Galewin, Pennsylvania. Well, if anything the constant chatter that filled the space provided a nice white noise that drowned out Feng Min’s own thoughts so she couldn’t say she was too upset about being jostled around.

Just when her patience was wearing thin and she was about to sucker punch the guy to her left who kept knocking into her every five seconds, David appeared before her, slamming a glass of whiskey down between them. David looked worn out and a sheen of sweat coated his skin but he still seemed chipper.

Feng Min frowned at the whiskey, then gave David a questioning look. “What’s this?”

“It’s whiskey.”

“I know it’s whiskey, you know I prefer vodka.”

David’s expression turned stern. “I’m not trustin’ you with vodka after what happened last time.”

Feng Min opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. She grumbled a bit and picked up the glass, staring at the contents. “Fine.”

“And besides, didn’t you say you prefer whiskey durin’ occasions like this so you don’t get drunk so quickly?”

“Me? Not wanting to get drunk too quickly?” Feng Min said incredulously. “You sure it’s me you’re talking about?”

She lifted the glass for a sip.

“Pretty sure it’s you, somethin’ about wanting to be sober while Kate Denson’s performin’.”

“What?!” was what Feng Min tried to say, but because she was mid-drinking, all she managed was a sputter and a coughing fit as whiskey went down the wrong pipe and burned through her nostril and her throat in all the wrong ways. She doubled over, slamming the glass onto the bar, the liquid inside sloshing over her hand, the other one pressed over her mouth as she tried to suppress the cough.

Feng Min saw a glass of clear water placed within her periphery. She grabbed it and chugged it, letting the liquid soothe her burning throat. She sighed loudly as she finished the water, panting softly.

“You alright there, Min?” David asked, amusement evident on his face.

Feng Min just stared at him in both disbelief and horror. “Kate Denson’s here?!”

David frowned. “Yeah, that’s why you’re ‘ere, aren’t you?”

Feng Min continued staring.

“Wait, you didn’t know she was performin’ here?”

“No! Do you think I would’ve been dressed like  _ this…”  _ she gestured furiously at herself wrapped in her coat and sweatpants, “...if I’d known?! Look at me!” She pointed at her face. “Does this look like the kind of face you would show to the most beaut… someone like Kate  _ Denson _ ?!”

David gave her a onceover. “Well, you do look like shite.” Then his look turned to incredulity. “Did you shower since the last time you were ‘ere?”

Feng Min looked away and mumbled, actually looking embarrassed. “Well I mean, I washed my face.”

David gave Feng Min a long, hard look that screamed ‘what the fuck’. 

“It’s cold, okay?!” Feng Min burst out defensively. “Hot water’s a bit spotty.”

“That’s no excuse for poor hygiene, Min.” David continued staring at her judgmentally. “You need to—”

David got cut off by someone calling for a drink.

“I’ll be right with you!” David said, turned to Feng Min. “I gotta go, I’ll catch ya later.”

“No David wait!” Feng Min said desperately. “Do you have a shower I can use?”

He went off, leaving Feng Min to her fate. She panicked for a second as she wondered if she’d have enough time to run back home to shower before Kate Denson’s show began. She barely had time to mull over it when the crowd around her stirred. By this point, the bar was close to full, and all of them were focusing their attention to the side where the stage was. Feng Min followed the flow of the crowd, gathering closer towards the stage, where the tables and chairs had been moved aside to form a space.

And stepping onto it from the backroom was  _ her,  _ and Feng Min felt the breath left her lungs.

Kate Denson was just as beautiful as Feng Min remembered when she last saw her live a year ago. Even more so. Her long, curly auburn hair tumbled down her back and over her shoulders, the stage lights almost making it seem to glow gold. Her round face was flawless and expertly made up, blushing cheeks, nude lipstick that gave a glowing sheen to her full lips pulled into a bright smile. Her blue eyes sparkled with mirth as she looked over the crowd. Her red-and-white buttoned-up flannel shirt fit her perfectly, tucked into light brown jeans that ended in a pair of polished dark brown boots.

Her sleeves were folded up to the elbows, revealing the lower half of her tattoo sleeve that wrapped all the way up her left arm from wrist to shoulder; different types of flowers of various sizes inked onto her skin in various shades of black, a stark contrast to her pale, flawless skin.

A particularly hard jostle as someone pushed past her pulled her back to reality. Her face warmed when she realized how intently she had been staring at Kate and she shrunk into herself, which was extremely easy considering all the people pushing into her, most at least a head taller than her. Thankfully, she was still able to see what’s going on on the stage without having to stand on her tiptoes too much.

The crowd clapped and cheered as Kate walked up to the center of the stage where a mic stand was set up and a stool. She had an acoustic guitar with her, the strap hanging off one shoulder, which she gave a few playful strums, riling the crowd up even more. Feng Min joined in, though a bit more subdued, extremely hyper aware of just how unappealing she looked right now. But even that couldn’t stop the rising glee building within her.

Kate grabbed the mic and tilted the stand towards her mouth as she said, her Southern twang prominent. “Well, it’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it? I can’t tell you how great it is to be back here. I know, I know,  _ technically  _ I lived in Nashville longer, but you never forget where you come from. And that is here, my birthplace. My home, and all of you, my family.” 

A series of ‘aw’s came from the audience while the others applauded loudly.

Her eyes scanned the faces of the audience. “And I see a lot of familiar faces. David, thanks for letting me perform here tonight.”

“Perform as many nights as you want, it’s good for business!” David spoke up from the bar, where he watched with his arms crossed, a smile on his face.

Kate laughed, ethereal and musical, and the crowd followed suit. “I think I just might take you up on that offer, Mr. King.” She looked among the audience again, and her face lit up. “Old Jeff, see you’re still well and healthy.”

“I still got a few good years left in me.” Feng Min heard a crackly voice speak, worn with age. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it. How’s your granddaughter?” She thought for a moment. “Helen, was it? She has to be what, ten by now.”

And it continued, Kate calling out to various members of the crowd by name, people she knew, that she grew up with. Asking how they’ve been, sharing inside jokes that flew over Feng Min’s head. It was… intimate, almost made Feng Min feel ashamed for intruding. But the crowd was eating it up, the locals happy to see one of their own again and so successful, the out-of-towners, her fans that came all the way out to the middle of nowhere just to watch her perform, going ecstatic over every tidbit of personal information Kate revealed about her life.

Not that Feng Min wasn’t interested as well. She was definitely paying attention, but at the same time, she didn’t really want Kate to see her in her current condition, so she didn’t react as animatedly as the others and she kept her head low and made herself as small as possible, an easy feat considering how everyone towered over her, whenever Kate’s eyes swept by.

“Well, that’s probably enough catching up.” Kate continued. “I’m sure none of you came here to listen to me blabber for about an hour.”

The crowd made their disagreement known. 

She chuckled at their response and started lowering the mic height so that it’s mouth level when she sat down on the stool. She started plucking her guitar strings, adjusting the tuning pegs as she did so. As she did, a hush fell over the crowd. Feng Min could feel the anticipation hanging in the air, including the one building in herself. It was a ritual at this point; once Kate started tuning her guitar, that meant the performance was beginning.

Kate let go of the tuning peg and wrapped her fingers around the neck of her guitar and closed her eyes. A pregnant pause. Despite herself, Feng Min felt trepidation rose in her as she waited for that first strum.

And then it came, a jarring, but beautiful sound that echoed throughout the bar. An ethereal note that lingered in the air. Then another, and another as Kate began the opening riff of one of her most popular songs. One who’s lyrics Feng Min knew by heart, one that Feng Min had listened to on loop for weeks when it came out. The riff would repeat one more time before…

Kate leaned her face towards the mic and her clear, melodic voice enveloped Feng Min and everyone at the bar, beautiful and angelic, evocative and lovely. Feng Min was entranced instantly, just watching and listening in awe, a familiar experience. One she’d experienced everytime she managed to make one of Kate’s concerts in the past. 

Feng Min had discovered Kate Denson back when she was first starting out as a new player for Laser Bear. One of her teammates had been an avid country music lover and for that year, he would not stop talking about the new ‘songbird’ that had hit the music scene, touring the country in her old Chevy truck, playing in bars and festivals. He had also received word that she would be performing in a bar a couple hours away from where they were and wanted to drag the entire team along. 

The others hadn’t been interested, Feng Min included, but she had wanted to make a good impression at the time so she agreed to go with him, having resigned herself to a couple hours of cheesy love and breakup songs.

She was dead wrong. 

There was something about Kate, something Feng Min couldn’t explain, that drew her in. It wasn’t just her voice; the music, the lyrics that sung through her heart, those piercing eyes that seemed to stare straight into her soul on the rare occasion that they actually made eye contact with each other. All Feng Min knew that day as she stood with her friend in the cramped, dark bar, watching Kate perform for the first time, was that she had to see her again, to hear her music, that sweet voice, those beautiful eyes that sparkled like sapphires gleaming in moonlight.

It wasn’t until almost a year later that Feng Min realized she wasn’t straight and that her fascination with Kate went beyond just her music. 

When that realization came, it brought her clarity, explained so many things. All those times she felt uncomfortable whenever her parents nagged her about getting a boyfriend or a husband, or how she evaded the question of whether she had a crush on any boy in class when she was still in school. It had helped put certain things about herself in perspective.

But with that perspective came horror. Feng Min was the first and only female player on her esports team and at the time of her induction, also the first and only girl in the entire region to play in a professional team. The amount of vitriol and harassment she’d come under was unlike anything she’d ever faced before, and she had experienced much during her streaming days. She was under no illusion over what would’ve happened to her should her sexuality ever be revealed.

The abuse and threats, she could handle. She’d long made peace with the fact that they were something she’d have to deal with for the rest of her life simply for being a woman playing professionally in esports. But the thought that she might get kicked off the team was something that scared her more than anything. So she kept it a secret. Nobody knew, not even her teammates back on Laser Bear, not even David now. Suppressing a large aspect of herself, denying herself any form of intimacy, any close relationships with another girl for fear of rumors, all just to be accepted, to be able to do what she loved, to be treated with a modicum of respect, already sparse to begin with.

All of it for nothing.

_ No!  _ Feng Min shook herself free of her thoughts. She was not going to let her personal shit ruin this moment. Let her have just this one night free, free to just enjoy and savor one of the few things she had left that brought her happiness. And so she focused on Kate again, letting her music and her voice wash over her and keep her darkness at bay. 

Besides, not like Feng Min could ever get a girlfriend for herself anyway even if she tried considering what she’s like, least of all someone like Kate Denson.

Kate’s second song was a direct contrast to her more melancholic opener. It was fast-paced, hypy, and pretty soon it got everyone in the bar dancing and singing to the beat. Feng Min got swept up in it not long after, dancing about where she was, making sure not to spill her glass of whiskey as she did so; a tough challenge with all the rough bodies bumping into her. But she was in too good a mood to care.

It had been a long time since Feng Min had felt this way, to feel this happy. It was like she was soaring in the sky, the weights of the past cast aside. All without having to drink herself into a stupor. She’d forgotten what it’s like. She knew this wouldn’t last, and so she allowed herself to savor every second of it to the fullest before reality set in once more. But right now, everything was perfect.

Kate continued for another five more songs before stopping for a short break. By that time, Feng Min was already sweaty and panting slightly from all the dancing and singalongs. She headed back to the bar, humming Kate’s last song as she did so, wanting to get a refill on her whiskey.

David gave her an odd look as he filled her glass. 

Feng Min frowned at him. “What?”

“Nothin’.” He pushed her glass towards him. “Just glad to see you enjoyin’ yourself is all.”

“Uh, yeah.” Feng Min said, the grin on her face widening. “Why  _ wouldn’t  _ I be enjoying myself. It’s Kate Denson!” She then gave David a mock accusatory look. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me she was performing here tonight. Would’ve missed it if I didn’t decide to come here.”

“In my defense, out of all the times I’ve called or messaged you, you have replied a total of zero times.”

_ Oh right. _

Feng Min shrugged. “Fair. But I didn’t miss it, so all’s well that ends well, I suppose.” She sipped her whiskey. “Catch you later, David.”

“Try not to cause any trouble.”

“Don’t hold your breath.” Feng Min walked off back towards the stage.

“Never took you for a Densonite.”

Feng Min felt her heart sink at that familiar voice and she turned, her grin morphing into a scowl. There Yui stood in all her biker girl glory, though looking significantly more made-up; mascara, eyeliners, and red eye shadows, glossy pink lipstick, silver hoop earrings and similarly colored bracelets, and a golden chain necklace with a thin rectangular metal plate engraved with a symbol Feng Min couldn’t make out. Golden-band rings adorned each of her fingers from pinky to thumb. For the first time since she’d met her, Yui’s top was clean, this time a dark red.

She would never admit it out loud, but Yui actually looked really beautiful.

If only she wasn’t such a bitch.

Feng Min just barely managed to swallow the first thing she wanted to say to Yui and instead went with. “Nope, no, this is not happening. I won’t let you ruin this for me.”

She turned away and stared at the stage, adamantly ignoring Yui’s presence. Even then, she could still feel Yui’s gaze on her. Feng Min grimaced but refused to give in, keeping her eyes focused before her, waiting for Kate’s performance to resume so she didn’t have to think about Yui’s presence anymore. She saw Yui step up beside her in her periphery and Feng Min suppressed a groan. Instead, she just crossed her arms and sipped her whiskey, using her thick hair as a curtain to keep Yui from view.

“So what’s your favorite song?” Yui broke the silence between them.

Feng Min didn’t respond, still ignoring Yui.

“Mine’s ‘Boil Over’,” Yui continued, “memorable riff, catchy chorus, great lyrics, probably her best work so far.”

“Don’t you have anyone else you can go pester besides me?” Feng Min snapped before she could stop herself, having had enough.

A pause.

“No.”

That finally made Feng Min look at Yui. Her expression was neutral as usual, but her eyes were downcast. She looked up, met Feng Min’s gaze who looked away instantly. Right, Yui just moved here about a week ago.

“Oh, really?” Feng Min said. “So what, am I the only person you’ve interacted with since you moved here?”

“Yes.” 

That answer stunned Feng Min for a moment.

She wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. So the first social interaction Yui had on her first day of moving to Galewin was Feng Min, drunk Feng Min. She fought down the guilt and shame beginning to creep up in her. Feng Min wasn’t oblivious, she knew what she was like drunk. And as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn’t really blame Yui for what she did that day at the bar. Sure, the shoving and pinning down and the booze theft were a bit much, but Feng Min probably would’ve done the same if the situation was reversed.

_ And  _ she supposed she was also unnecessarily mean to Yui at the mall when she offered to pay for her groceries, probably an olive branch for how she manhandled Feng Min the previous day. She could’ve gone about it in a less abrasive way but Feng Min supposed the sentiment was there.

Fuck, what was it about this woman that made Feng Min actually examine her actions? 

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

Feng Min fidgeted slightly as she faced away from Yui, her scowl deepening. “‘Windows of Opportunity’.” She said quickly, the words running over each other.

“What?”

“My favorite song is ‘Windows of Opportunity’.” Feng Min realized her voice was too aggressive and reined herself in. She then muttered, shrinking into herself as she did so. “And welcome to Galewin, I guess. I’m Feng Min, hope you like it here and all that.”

To her horror, Feng Min felt her face heat up as she said it. Thankfully she was still turned away from Yui so she hoped the other woman didn’t notice.

“Huh,” she heard Yui hummed almost contemplatively, “so you can be nice after all.”

And just like that, annoyance replaced the sudden bashfulness that overcame her and she turned to glare at Yui, whose lips are quirked into a thin smirk.

“Now listen here, you little—”

The sounds of clapping and cheering cut Feng Min off. She quickly turned her attention back to the stage and sure enough, Kate was there, heading back towards the stool and sitting on it. Giddiness rose within Feng Min as she waited for Kate to resume her performance, Yui slipping out of her mind.

“Hope I didn’t make you fine folks wait too long.” Kate said into the mic as she sat down. “Let’s get the show back on the road, shall we?”

The crowd cheered again as Kate began the first song of the second half of her show.

The performance went on late into the night. Feng Min was so caught up in the music and the energy of the crowd that she didn’t even realize that it’s been hours since the show began until Kate strummed the last chord of her final song. Feng Min clapped and cheered along with the crowd, chanting ‘encore’. Of course, that last song had been the encore but they did it anyway.

“Well, I hope y’all enjoyed the show.” Kate said once the cheering died down a little. “Again, I wanna say how glad I am to be back home and to be able to perform before all of you like this. So thank you, for listening, for supporting me through all these years. I know I say this every year I’m here but I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you, doing what I love most every day, and hopefully for many more years to come. So again, thank you.”

She stood up and waved to everyone as the crowd cheered again. She then disappeared backstage, but Feng Min knew she’d be back. Kate loved talking with her fans personally after her shows, even more so when she’s back home so she could catch up with her people.

“She really has a way with words.” She heard Yui’s voice remark. 

Feng Ming suppressed a groan.  _ Right, she’s still here.  _

“Cheesy,” she continued, “but in a heartwarming way. I can see why people say you won’t get the full ‘Denson’ experience until you watch her live.”

Feng Min contemplated ignoring her again, but she knew that Yui would just keep talking anyway if earlier experience was any indication. Besides, she supposed she could play nice, at least for tonight. 

“So this is your first time catching her live then?” Feng Min asked, taking all her willpower to keep the bite out of her words.

“Yeah.”

“It’s something else.”

“Really is.”

Feng Min snuck a glance at Yui out the corner of her eyes. Yui caught her staring and she quirked her lips into a brief smile. Feng Min looked away instantly, feeling heat rising to her cheeks again. She cleared her throat, downed her whiskey and placed it down on a nearby table, looking everywhere but at Yui.

Kate reentering the bar gave something for Feng Min to focus on that was not the biker girl standing next to her. Her guitar had been put away into her guitar bag which she now wore on her back. The crowd was instantly around her the moment they noticed her, some wanting to shake her hands, others wanting to get her autographs, or take a picture with her, or to talk with her. 

Feng Min watched the commotion from where she was, angling herself so she could catch glimpses of Kate through the throngs of people surrounding her. The same thing she did last year when Kate came back to perform, and the year before that, and the year before that.

“You’re not going to go talk to her?” Yui asked.

Feng Min scoffed, then gestured at her face. “Looking like this? Nah.”

Yui cocked her head slightly. “What’s wrong with the way you look?”

“Um, are you kidding me?” Feng Min said incredulously. “I look like shit, I haven’t showered in days, my hair’s a mess, I got no makeup on, and did I mention I haven’t showered in days? Because I didn’t. Kate’s so perfect and beautiful and…” Feng Min caught herself. “No, I can’t go to her looking like this. Nope, I just can’t.”

Feng Min crossed her arms and looked down, though she still peeked at Kate out the corner of her eyes. 

“You really like her, huh?”

“Yeah?” Feng Min gave Yui a ‘duh’ look. “Would’ve thought that’s obvious by now.”

“That’s not what I mean.” There was that smirk again and she stepped closer to Feng Min, who suddenly couldn’t keep still. 

“W-what do you mean then?” Feng Min cursed herself internally as she tripped over her words. Just what was wrong with her? What was it about Yui that threw her off so much?

Yui leant ever closer towards Feng Min, her smirk becoming conspiratorial, and Feng Min suddenly found it hard to breathe.

“I mean,” Yui’s voice dropped an octave as she dragged the syllables out, “do you want to have sex with her?”

Feng Min’s brain stuttered at that, and she immediately felt her face go red as mortification rose in her. It immediately transformed into fear. 

_ Fuck, did she know? Idiot, of course she knows! You were literally behaving like a smittened schoolgirl right in front of her. _

“W-what?!” Feng Min’s voice was higher than she wanted. She cleared her throat and tried to put more strength into it, it didn’t work. “No, of course not! I-I don’t… I’m not…” 

Her voice caught in her throat. Feng Min could feel her heart racing, panic setting in. She forced herself to speak, something, anything was better than staying silent. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are, assuming shit about me?” Feng Min spat out, anger building in her desperation. Yui tilted her head back, her smirk disappearing, seemingly taken aback by Feng Min’s sudden hostility. She pushed on regardless, too terrified to stop talking. “You don’t know me and we sure as hell aren’t friends. And just because I said I like Kate doesn’t make me a dyke so—”

Yui’s hand shot out, grabbed Feng Min by her collar, and yanked her forward. Feng Min could barely manage a yelp before she felt Yui’s other hand clamped onto the back of her head, fingers digging into her hair, hard. Feng Min instinctively grabbed the side of Yui’s arms, trying to pull her off, but Yui was much stronger and the grip in her hair hurt, a lot.

“Ow, what the fu—” Whatever Feng Min wanted to say died in her lips when she saw the look in Yui’s eyes, one of anger. It was the most expression she’d seen on her face and it was pure rage, directed at her.

This close, almost flushed against each other, Feng Min could feel the tremble in Yui’s body, in her hand, in her clenched jaw. But it was Yui’s eyes that drew her attention. She couldn’t look away, so much rage in it, and something else. Something familiar. 

Pain.

The hand gripping her collar released its hold and trailed up along the side of her jaw, fingers digging harshly into her cheek, nails sharp against her skin. She then felt Yui’s thumb trail across her lower lip, her long nail just scraping the side of Feng Min’s nose. 

“Your mouth,” Yui all but spat out, her voice a low whisper, the faintest hint of a growl in it, “your fucking mouth.” Her breathing was unsteady, each exhale puffing against the corner of Feng Min’s lips. “Never use that word in my presence again. Do you understand?”

Feng Min struggled in Yui’s grasp, trying to twist herself out of her iron grip. “Let me—”

Yui’s eyes flared and she shook Feng Min roughly, her grip tightening. Feng Min winced in pain, tears stinging her eyes. It felt like Yui was going to rip her hair from her scalp.

“I said, do you understand?”

“Ah! Okay, I won’t! Fuck, ow!”

As if to spite her, Yui maintained her grip for a few more seconds before loosening it, though her hands remained on Feng Min. The hand in her hair slid down to rest at the back of her neck, the one on her jaw glided to her sternum, fingers and long nails almost caressing their way down before resting between her breasts.

Feng Min’s breath caught in her throat, hyper aware of which parts of her were touching Yui, who didn’t move away or step back. She just remained close, holding onto Feng Min. She could push her away easily now that she didn’t have a hand in her hair, but she didn’t. The fire that had been in Yui’s eyes dimmed, though it remained there, simmering but contained.

Yui looked away from Feng Min, towards where Kate was. She followed her gaze. There were only a handful of people left by this point, less than a dozen. There were still others around, drinking on their own or with friends, chatting and laughing. A few people were staring at them but a swift look from Yui had them looking away. 

She turned back to Feng Min. “You said that you’re not attracted to Kate, that you’re not a ‘dyke’.” Her face twisted as she spat that word out. “Then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I made my move then.”

“I-I don’t know what you mean.” Feng Min’s gaze faltered but there wasn’t anywhere she could look where Yui wasn’t and so she was inevitably drawn back to her eyes.

A smirk broke out on Yui’s face and she leant much too close to Feng Min’s face. “You know perfectly well what I mean. Once she’s done here, I’m going to approach her, I’m going to flirt with her, I’m going to seduce her,” Feng Min’s breath caught in her throat as Yui moved her mouth to her ears, feeling her lips ghost ever so slightly across her cheek, and whispered, “and then I’m going to fuck her.”

Feng Min let out a trembling breath and against her will, felt heat rise onto her face, then spread down her neck, through her body, before pooling between her legs. It took all she had to not fidget or grind her legs together. Yui pulled her head back and stared at Feng Min, still much too close, her gaze hard.

“You don’t mind, right?” Yui said, her voice low and husky, taking on an almost mocking tone. “After all, you’re not ‘like that’.”

It took a moment for Feng Min to find her voice, and even then, it was weak and breathless. “I… I’m… Kate Denson isn’t a… isn’t… She’s straight.”

Yui’s smirk widened, almost cocky, as she leant forward once more, face mere inches from Feng Min’s. “We’ll see.”

Then Yui released Feng Min and walked away. Feng Min’s legs almost gave out from under her, just barely able to brace herself on a nearby table. She stared after Yui as she disappeared out the bar door, slamming shut behind her. All Feng Min could do was remain there, staring, panting softly, eyes wide, body warm and  _ throbbing. _

Phantom sensations of Yui’s fingers still tingled along her skin and Feng Min shuddered. She shook her head, rubbed her arms and neck furiously, as if scrubbing away Yui’s touch. It didn’t work. She glanced over to Kate, who seemed to be finishing up her conversation with the remaining two people still with her. As she shook the hands of one and waved the pair off, Kate gave the bar a final look and as she started to turn towards the back door, their eyes met.

Feng Min tensed and looked away, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks. She tugged at her coat self-consciously, suddenly very aware of her extremely unkempt appearance. It took every ounce of courage in Feng Min to raise her eyes and peeked at Kate. She was still looking at her and when their eyes met again, Kate smiled and gave a small, almost tentative wave.

That was when Feng Min’s composure broke and she darted out of the bar.

The cold, autumn wind was almost painful against her burning face. Mortification instantly replaced her panic as she realized what she just did.

Kate Denson waved at her…  _ and she ran. _

Like some spineless coward.

She let out a long, pained groan and dragged a hand across her face. 

“Fucking hell.” She breathed out as she shoved her hands into her coat pockets to ward off the cold.

This had been a long day. All Feng Min wanted to do now was to go home and sleep and just reminisce about Kate Denson’s performance, preferably with the more humiliating and cringey parts edited out. Including Yui.

She was halfway across the road when what Yui said drifted back to her, how she was going to find Kate Denson once she left and seduce her and… Feng Min couldn’t even think about it without turning red. She stopped walking, looked back at the bar. Kate was probably leaving now, meaning that Yui was going to approach her any second now. That was, if Yui wasn’t just bullshitting her, which she very well could be.

Yet something told Feng Min she wasn’t.

Perhaps she should—

No, it was none of her business. It had nothing to do with her and frankly, she had had enough of Yui for the day. Or the whole week. Maybe the entire year. She should just go home and put what happened between them behind her.

And yet she remained there, even as she tried to will herself to walk. Feng Min let out a long, drawn-out groan.

“I’m going to regret this.” She muttered as she turned and made her way towards the side of the bar where its small parking lot was.

There were only a scant few vehicles left in the space, so Feng Min was instantly able to spot Kate Denson’s Chevy truck. An old, battered thing, its blue paint job chipped and rusted. Feng Min was surprised it still worked. Kate was several feet from it, talking to multiple someones, none of them Yui. Stragglers probably, wanting a more personal moment with her. She could just barely hear their conversations; Kate’s life, her inspirations for her music and lyrics, whether she’ll be performing again tomorrow or moving on.

Despite herself she felt bitterness rose in her, at how easily it was for them to just walk up to Kate and talk to her like it was no big deal while the mere thought of approaching her paralyzed Feng Min with fear and doubt and insecurity. 

It wasn’t fair.

Feng Min watched them from where she was, behind a broken lamppost that hadn’t been fixed in years, shrouding her in darkness. She looked around. There was barely anyone out and about at this time of night. No sign of Yui or her motorcycle. Feng Min wrapped her arms around her midriff, trying to keep herself warm. 

Eventually, the stragglers left and Kate was left alone. She adjusted the strap of her guitar bag and continued towards her truck. Kate reached her truck, pulled out her keys, and began fiddling with the door, seemingly having some difficulty unlocking it. Probably a normal occurrence.

Still no signs of Yui.

Feng Min scoffed softly to herself and shook her head. Of course Yui wasn’t here. She was just talking big and messing with her. In fact, Yui was probably off somewhere laughing at her for actually wasting her time here. She was more annoyed with herself than anything for falling for it in the first place. It was such an obvious bait.

She turned to leave.

“You need some help with that?” Yui’s voice reached her.

Feng Min halted and instantly turned back. There Yui was, standing about fifteen feet behind Kate. Feng Min quickly crept back towards the busted lamppost.

“Nah,” Kate said, “this is normal, believe it or not. Just gotta twist it just…” The truck door gave a click and it opened, “... right. There.”

She turned and gave Yui a reassuring smile.

“You should get your truck looked at.” Yui tilted her head as she gave Kate’s truck a once-over. “Looks like it’s going to fall to pieces at the slightest jolt, no offence.”

Kate chuckled, putting one hand on her hip. “None taken. And you’re right, I really should. Might probably bring it down to Autohaven for a looksee.”

“Yeah, I mean,” Yui took several slow steps towards her, one hand rising to gesture at the empty parking lot casually. “Dark, deserted parking lot, a beautiful woman having trouble getting into her truck. Unsavory folks might get ideas.”

Oh my god. She did not just say what Feng Ming thought she said. That was the cheesiest fucking pickup line Feng Min had ever heard, and she’s heard a lot in her time. There was absolutely no way in hell a line like that would ever work, even if it’s coming from a woman.

To her disbelief, Kate giggled, lowering her head bashfully. “I trust this town. They’re good people. Maybe the ones I should be watching out for are people like you.”

“Like me?” Yui stepped closer, the beginnings of a smirk growing on her face. 

Kate remained where she was, letting Yui close the distance between them. “Bold and presumptuous.”

Yui stopped several feet before Kate, well within what was considered appropriate. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Depends on the person, I suppose.” Kate then looked around.

Feng Min panicked and ducked behind the nearest object, a mailbox. She peeked out the side. Kate didn’t seem to have spotted her. She relaxed, then realized what she was doing, what this entire situation would look like from the outside.

_ Fuck, I’m the creepy stalker. _

“And me?” Yui’s voice regained Feng Min’s attention.

Kate tilted her head and made a playful hum. “Maybe.” 

“I’ll take that.”

Kate chuckled, almost breathless. “You really are bold. What if I’d been straight? What then?”

Wait, what? Was Kate implying what Feng Min thought she was implying?

“I had an idea.” Yui smiled, a confident glint in her eyes as she moved ever closer towards Kate who, to Feng Min’s bewilderment, allowed her to do so. 

“What gave it away?”

Yui’s gaze became deadpan. “The flannel.”

Kate laughed out loud at that. “Glad to know that it works.”

“Must be your lucky day.” Yui said, cockiness oozing from her very posture, a far cry from the stoicism Feng Min was used to seeing in the handful of times they interacted.

But she didn’t care about that, Yui was far from her mind at this moment. Because Kate just all but admitted that she wasn’t straight. She couldn’t believe it. Kate wasn’t straight. Kate, the woman who made Feng Min question her sexuality, who she had a crush on for years.

She was just like her.

The elation she felt bubbling within her at this revelation was short-lived, however, because before her very eyes, Yui was currently flirting with Kate, and Kate was  _ responding! _

Kate giggled again, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ears. “Wow, big ego much.”

“You seem to like it well enough.” Yui dropped her voice an octave lower, almost a contralto.

That voice sent a tingle down her spine, traveling  _ low _ , and Feng Min cursed her body for betraying her. It seemed to have a similar effect on Kate because she couldn’t meet Yui’s eyes.

“There’s that presumptuousness again.” Kate laughed nervously, running her fingers through her hair. “You’re really… something.”

She trailed off as she looked up at Yui, who had about an inch on her. Kate opened her mouth to speak, stammered a little as she lost her composure, something that Feng Min never saw happen to Kate before in all the times she watched her perform or when she interacted with her fans.

“Say,” Kate finally forced out, her voice soft, shy, apprehensive, her posture uncertain, eager, “you wouldn’t happen to be… free… tonight?”

Feng Min’s jaw almost dropped and a surge of  _ something  _ went through her, her grip on the mailbox tightening involuntarily. It took her a while to identify it. 

Jealousy. Pure, unadulterated jealousy. 

Yui’s smirk widened. “My, good girl Kate Denson inviting a stranger into her home on their first meeting. What would her fans say?”

The faint hint of a blush rose on Kate’s cheeks as she bit her lower lip, then she said in a tone of voice Feng Min never thought she would hear from her. “I never claimed to be a good girl.”

It was so seductive, so… sexy. Feng Min had to bite down on her tongue to keep from making a sound, fighting back the arousal it stirred in her. That voice, those words, they were going to plague Feng Min’s imaginations and dreams for a while. She just knew it.

She was glad for the cold air.

Yui exhaled unsteadily, the only sign of her composure faltering. She covered it up with a smile and a lean forward, causing Kate to tense. “Mmm, you have no idea how tempted I am.” Then she pulled back. “But unfortunately I have a prior engagement early tomorrow so I have to decline.”

_ Wait, what? _

“O-oh, that’s too bad.” 

Feng Min could hear and feel the disappointment in Kate’s voice, matching her own confusion. Why the fuck did she say no? Not that Feng Min was complaining but still.

“You’ll still be performing here at the bar tomorrow right?” Yui said, the implication of her words extremely evident.

Kate swayed about playfully as she pretended to think. “Technically it’s supposed to be a surprise, but yes.” 

“Lucky me.” Yui started walking backwards away from Kate. “I’ll be sure to clear my schedule for the next few days then. It was nice talking to you, Miss Denson.”

“You too, uh…” Kate frowned, realizing that Yui hadn’t given her name yet.

“Yui, Yui Kimura.” She bowed her head slightly as she introduced herself.

“Well, Yui, it was nice talking to you too.” Kate gave a short curtsy.

Yui gave a small wave as she shoved her hands into her jacket pocket and turned to walk away, in the direction of the bar, angled close to where Feng Min was. She instantly adjusted her position, keeping the mailbox between them. She watched as Kate placed her guitar bag into her truck and hoisted herself after it. Feng Min could’ve sworn that Kate snuck several glances at Yui’s retreating form as she did so.

Then the sputtering and roar of Kate’s truck pierced the silent night, sounding very much like a hacking chainsaw, and she peeled out of the parking lot. Feng Min returned her attention to Yui and froze when she saw her staring straight at her.

Gone was her playful, flirtatious persona, replaced by hard eyes and a stony expression. She’d expected Yui to give her a mocking look or even a triumphant one at what she did, but she just stared at Feng Min impassively, the seconds dragging between them.

Then she walked away, leaving Feng Min standing there.

That night, when Feng Min got back home and threw herself under her blanket, memories of what happened flooded her senses, jealousy mixed with anger mixed with arousal, creating a complicated concoction of emotions that she could barely handle. It took every bit of her willpower to not reach between her legs and put an end to the fiery heat that’s been burning there for the past few hours, too afraid of who might pop into her fantasy if she did so. 

And so she twisted and turned, stewing, simmering, denying herself the release she so desperately craved. It had been so long since she’d touched herself, so long since she’d been this turned on. Her thighs ground together, trying to alleviate even a tiny bit of the pressure building between them to no avail.

When sleep finally took her much later, her dream was filled with guitars and motorcycles, seductive voices and husky whispers, tantalising touches and harsh grips, piercing blue eyes and hard brown ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter ended up MUCH longer than expected, which was why it took so long. I thought about splitting it in two but I felt that it broke the flow too much, so here it is, a giant-sized one lol.
> 
> Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Feng Min woke up the next morning with what was quite possibly the worst case of blue balls she’d ever had. Well, the female equivalent of blue balls. Blue ovaries? She didn’t know. Whatever it’s called, she had it, because the first thing she noticed when awareness returned to her was that she was throbbing and aching between her legs.

An involuntary moan spilled from her lips as she reflexively ground her thighs together, that simple act sending pleasure shooting up her spine. Fuck, she was so sensitive. Pushing the blanket off her, she looked down and saw a damp spot on the front of her sleep shorts and on her bedsheet.

She grimaced in disgust as she swung herself off her bed. She peeled her shorts off, wet and sticky, exposing herself to the chilly air of her bedroom. She shuddered, not from the cold. Looking down, she saw how swollen and red and  _ wet  _ she was. Her body hadn’t calmed down at all since last night. 

“Fuck.” Feng Min breathed, feeling hot all over. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had a wet dream. 

A flash of memory; lips ghosting over her cheeks, fingers yanking her hair, whispers into her ears. She bit back a moan as she  _ pulsed.  _ Suddenly, her skin felt too raw. She yanked her shirt off, tossed it next to her soiled shorts. She shivered as the cold air nipped at her sensitized skin, coated with dried sweat.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She’d be damned if she got off on memories of Yui of all people, especially when Kate Denson existed and she just about uttered the most erotic thing Feng Min had ever heard in her life last night. What was wrong with her? She must be more pent up than she thought. She needed to get herself under control. A cold, very cold, shower should do the trick. Or so she heard.

How like her that the one thing that finally motivated her to shower was her libido.

The freezing water stung and she had to bite back a shriek as it splashed over her skin. In hindsight, she probably should’ve taken it slow but she also wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

After a while, her body got used to the cold and she stopped shivering, the water now soothing her burning skin and she could feel the heat and the throbbing between her legs dim. It was still there, but no longer as distracting. Her ‘problem’ dealt with, Feng Min increased the water temperature to just under lukewarm and began scrubbing herself clean.

She was filthy. There was a layer of… something over her skin and her hair was a tangled, oily mess. She made liberal use of her shampoo and body wash, making sure she cleaned every inch of herself, making up for the week she went without. Once she was clean, she stood there, head down, one hand braced against the tiled wall, enjoying the feel of the water raining down on her, letting the hypnotic pattering lull her to placidity.

Events of the previous night began flooding back. Kate on stage, her playing, her singing, her sparkling eyes. Feng Min could feel a smile spread on her face at the memory. But it didn’t last, because her mind inevitably drifted to the later parts of the night. To Yui, who so easily, so  _ casually,  _ implied that Feng Min wanted to sleep with Kate. Who grabbed and manhandled her when in her panic to deflect, used a slur that she probably shouldn’t have. Grabbed her hair and face and shook her about, hurt her.

And how hot it made her when Yui did so, when she whispered in her ears how she’ll seduce and fuck Kate. And how her jealousy burned when Yui did just that, her disbelief when Kate responded, all but inviting Yui over for a casual fuck. 

Very much different from the public perception her fans, including Feng Min, had of her. Sweet and friendly, virtuous and angelic. She was still all of those things. Feng Min would be damned if she was one of those people that shamed women for having sex. God knew that was what people assumed of her back then for being the only girl in an all-boys team. But even then it was still a shock, especially with how quickly Kate gave in to Yui’s advances.

One would think that something like that would be the source of gossip, especially if she was sleeping with other women, but as far as Feng Min knew, none existed.

Then something came to her, hopeful, horrifying. If Kate was… like her, and she was open to casual… stuff if her reaction to Yui was any indication, did that mean that Feng Min had a chance? If she were to approach Kate and flirt with her, would Kate also ask if she was free in that soft, sensual voice and that bashful look in her eyes while biting her lower lip?

Feng Min could feel herself getting warm just thinking about it. 

She made the water colder.

“Get real.” She scoffed at herself softly, bitterness tinged in her voice.

Bold of her to assume Kate would be interested in dating someone like her even if by some miracle she worked up the courage to approach Kate, never mind flirt with her especially considering that she ran away from Kate when all she did was wave at her. And besides, Yui already made the first move. Why would Kate choose Feng Min over her?

Yui was beautiful, confident, and charming. She was tall, fit, and had curves in all the right places, accentuated by her well-toned physique. Her ‘bad biker girl’ fashion sense and attitude helped too. Everything a person could want in a woman, Yui was it.

What did Feng Min have? She was uncouth, a slob, and a failure who drank herself into a stupor every time things got difficult. She barely even remembered to eat or shower most of the time. She didn’t have Yui’s body, her fitness, and she most certainly didn’t have her confidence and style. Why would Kate ever want someone like Feng Min when Yui was there? She wouldn’t even be worth a meaningless, throwaway fling. Not that she would be good at even that considering she’d never had sex before.

Feng Min pushed herself from the wall, and looked up, letting the water splash onto her face as if it could wash away the toxic sludge filling her head. It didn’t. She scrubbed her face, turned the water off, and began drying herself with a towel, her mood foul and self-deprecating.

And the day had barely even started yet.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror as she stepped out of the shower booth, half toweling her hair. She looked… clean, better than she’d been in a while. Her skin no longer had that pasty, crusty complexion, which made the dark bags under her eyes not as prominent.

_ Ugly. _

Flinching back, she turned away and left the bathroom, beelining for her bedroom, not even bothering to wrap the towel around herself. Not like anyone was around to see her traipsing about naked anyway. She’s been living alone for almost four years and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

_ Worthless. _

She stepped into her room, thick with the stench of stale air and sweat and alcohol. Dirty clothes and empty beer cans covered the floor, her bed messy, the blanket crumpled to one side. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cleaned her room, or did her laundry, or wear clothes that she didn’t just pick up from the floor.

_ Disgusting. _

Her breath hitched, her heart felt heavy, she couldn’t breathe. 

_ Failure. _

Fingers digging into hair, scratching, pulling, clawing in futility at the growing sludge behind her skull.

_ Pathetic. _

Eyes fixed onto her gaming table. Three cans of beer remained. She did what she did best. She drank, and drank, and drank. Drank until the sludge receded, replaced by the buzz of inebriety, until no thoughts remained in her head, until the pounding in her head drowned everything out.

She crushed the can, tossed it aside, took a deep breath. Her heart continued beating rapidly, the edge of her vision hazy, then turned. She wobbled on her feet, steadied herself. Suddenly, the smell became too much, the stale, alcohol-laden air, and she felt her stomach lurched.

She barely made it to the toilet bowl before she threw up, hacking and coughing, spewing liquid and acid. Tears stung her eyes as she retched, hugging the toilet bowl like a lifeline as her stomach contracted uncontrollably. She remained there even after there was nothing left to vomit, lying on the rim of the toilet bowl, too drained to move.

After what seemed like hours, she stirred, lethargically pushed herself up. One hand groped around to flush the toilet as she did so. She headed to the sink, saw herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were swollen and red and wet. She washed her face. It didn’t help with her appearance but it did freshen her somewhat. She shivered, reminding her that she was still naked.

Back in her bedroom, she began sifting through the mess that was her floor, looking for something that didn’t smell like marinated piss to wear. Then she remembered something and she slowed.

Kate said she was going to perform again tonight. Of course Feng Min wanted to go, even if it meant bumping into Yui again, Yui who Kate would be bringing home after the show. Jealousy built within her once more. Would it be worth it? Would watching the show be worth it to suffer through seeing Yui, knowing that she was going to have sex with Kate by the end of the night?

The answer was easy.

All she had to do was avoid Yui and enjoy Kate’s show. That was it. It was foolish of her to expect more from it. Kate’s a celebrity and she’s a fan, and people like her didn’t get to be with celebrities. People like Yui did.

But even then, she’d be damned if she went to the show in the state she was in last night. No, she must make herself presentable at the very least, especially if Kate looked her way again. And so, Feng Min started digging through the mess of clothes in her room, looking for something that was somewhat stylish.

She eventually settled on an ensemble that she thought would go well together: a light blue jacket, gray top, and black shorts and tights. She brought it down to the kitchen with a bunch of other clothes - might as well get some more clean clothes out of it - and shoved it into the washing machine. As it was doing its thing, Feng Min decided that she should get a haircut as well. It’s been a while and she had been shedding like crazy, downside of having hair that grew thick faster than long.

It was about a ten minute drive to the nearest hair salon and all she told the stylist was ‘make it look nice’ and left everything in his hands. He took that as a challenge and attacked her hair with a fervor that managed to bring a smile to Feng Min’s face. Thirty minutes later, he presented his handiwork with exaggerated pizazz. Feng Min got the feeling he sensed her mood and was trying to cheer her up. She appreciated it.

It looked good. Her hair was much thinner and in a bob, curling at the tips towards her chin, before going longer towards the back. The fringe was sideswept, just brushing her eyebrow. It was… cute and fitted her really well. She told the stylist to keep the change and she left the salon with almost a spring in her step.

By the time she reached home, her clothes were done and so she transferred them into the dryer. She then made lunch for herself, more pasta. Once she was done, she washed the dirty dishes and slacked off while waiting. She got bored ten minutes in and decided to go out again to get groceries. She got yet more pasta and several cartons of beer and a bottle of vodka because why not.

Nancy wasn’t there this time, which disappointed Feng Min, but the cashier she got - Meg, her name tag showed - was friendly enough if a bit of a motormouth and seemed to try a little too hard to fill the silence, getting a bit flustered as she did so which both puzzled and amused Feng Min. 

Her clothes still weren’t finished drying when she arrived home so she spent that time digging into her wardrobe for her old makeup kit. 

“Hello, old friend.” She said to the box as she brushed the lid.

She hadn’t touched it in a while, never had a reason to. She could only hope that she could rely on muscle memory when she used it. She checked the products inside and found that most, if not all of them were expired. She groaned. In hindsight, she probably should’ve done this first before going out the first time.

Or the second time.

And so Feng Min left for a third time to the nearest pharmacy and bought a new batch of makeup products. The amount of money it cost made Feng Min cringed but she soldiered on, telling herself that it was for Kate Denson. Besides, she remembered loving makeup once upon a time, how much fun she had experimenting with different looks, styles, and products, even testing it on her teammates back on Laser Bear.

She smiled wistfully at the memory, then swiftly moved on from it before it had a chance to turn to bitterness as most tend to.

Two hours later, everything was done. Her outfit was washed, dried, and ironed, the other clothes put away in her wardrobe, not empty for the first time in ages, and her makeup kit restocked. It was around 4p.m. so she still had about five hours before Kate’s performance would begin. She used them to get herself reacquainted with her makeup kit, trying to remember the order of product application, what colors look best on her, whether she wanted to use fake lashes or not.

It took awhile but eventually it all came back to her and it was like she never stopped. 

Feng Min put away her eyeliner pen and finally took in her handiwork on the mirror built into the lid of her makeup kit. A subtle blush graced her round cheeks, her sickly pale skin now almost glowing, contrasting nicely with her glossy red lipstick. But what drew her attention the most were her eyes, what she spent the longest on and what she was proudest of; fake lashes, carefully drawn eyeliner and mascara that blended into turquoise eye shadows that faded to purple and gold along the wings.

She smiled uncertainly, demurely at her reflection, tilting her head this way and that, taking her appearance in. She brushed a few strands of stray hair behind her ear. She’d styled her hair into a short ponytail behind her head, showing off her neck, though she allowed a few locks to fall loose, framing her face on one side.

All of it, combined with her chosen outfit, Feng Min had to admit she looked good. Pretty even. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to  _ feel  _ pretty. To feel, well, anything that wasn’t self-deprecating or self-pitying.

She looked down at her hands, at her fingernails, painted bright red to match her lips. She wasn’t the best at self-manicure so it didn’t look as good but it was good enough, she thought. Not like people would be scrutinizing her nails anyway, or scrutinizing her at all. Pretty sure she had a reputation throughout town and it wasn’t flattering. 

Being the resident drunk seldom was.

Packing away her makeup, she glanced at the clock. Almost seven. She blinked. Was it evening already? She barely even noticed. Two more hours till Kate’s usual performing time. What should she do? She thought about gaming but she knew that she would lose track of time instantly if she did and she also had to remind herself that she was deliberately going cold turkey from League after her awful losing streak yesterday.

Ah, what the hell? Might as well head to the bar early. If anything, David would be good company.

* * *

King’s Refuge wasn’t overly packed when Feng Min arrived but there were definitely more than the usual number at this time of night. Kate’s performance last night had been unannounced; now that everybody knew she was here, everybody wanted a piece of her. Feng Min was aware of the number of stares she got from some of the other regulars as she made her way to the bar, most of them gaping in surprise or disbelief, as if seeing her  _ not  _ looking like she just woke up from a trashcan was something shocking.

She didn’t blame them, but it’s not like she cared what other people thought of her anyway. Though she had to admit, being stared at not out of disgust or anger or disappointment was a nice change of pace.

David was already eyeing her even before she reached the bar, having just finished preparing a drink for a customer. He cocked an eyebrow as he gave her a onceover.

“So you can look like a normal human being after all.” He remarked.

“Oh, fuck off.” Feng Min said, more out of humor than anger.

David chuckled as he wiped the bar between them. “That attitude of yours though, could use some work.”

“Ha, ha.”

“The other usual?”

“The other usual.”

“So what’s the occasion? You got a hot date or somethin’?” David asked as he poured her a glass of whiskey.

Feng Min scoffed as she took a sip. “Do I look like the kind of person who gets hot dates?”

“I mean,” he gestured at her getup, “you do now. You no longer look or smell like you dumpster dive for a livin’.”

“Very funny.”

“I’m hilarious.”

“Sure you are.” She deadpanned. “And you should know this by now. I try to at least put some effort into my appearance whenever Kate Denson performs.”

“Last night tells a different story.”

“That wasn’t on me.” Feng Min held a finger out defensively. “I didn’t know she was in town.”

“I know, I’m just givin’ you shit.”

“Well aren’t you surprisingly chipper tonight.”

“I mean…” he gestured at the people in his bar, more arriving every minute, “... of course I am. Business’ good, and it’s all thanks to our local songbird.”

“So what, Kate Denson’s nothing more than a money-making machine for you?” Feng Min said mischievously, “She thinks of you as a friend, y’know? Wonder how she’ll feel if she knew about this.”

“And who’s goin’ to tell her?” David gave her a humorous look. “You?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

An almost condescending smile spread on his face as he crossed his arms on the bartop and leant towards her. “I mean I saw how you ran away last night when Kate Denson waved at you.” He chuckled. “She looked so baffled when you did. It was funny, not gonna lie.”

Red tinged her cheeks as indignation and embarrassment rose in her. “Shut up! You saw what I looked like last night. You think I want Kate to see me like that?” She looked away and crossed her arms defensively.

“Oh, really?” David said, a challenge in his voice which annoyed Feng Min enough that she looked back at him and saw his cocky grin. “Then I suppose you won’t have much trouble talkin’ to Kate Denson tonight after all the trouble you went through to clean yourself up.”

Feng Min sputtered. “T-this isn’t a competition.”

David clapped the table and sat back as his grin widened. “See, I knew it. You don’t have the balls to do it.”

She bristled at that, but knew that he was right, which just pissed her off even more. Even dressed up like this, she probably still wouldn’t have the guts to approach Kate. All she could do is just watch from a distance like what she’d always done the last few years.

“Fuck off,” was all Feng Min could muster and even then it lacked bite.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop giving you a hard time.” David said, though that shit-eating grin remained.

“How kind of you.”

David was not deterred by Feng Min’s glare. He leant forward again in an almost conspiratorial manner. “Anyway, so that Kimura girl.”

Feng Min suppressed a groan and an eye roll. “What about her?”

“What was up with you and her last night?”

“Oh, you mean when she manhandled me,  _ again?  _ Thanks for  _ not  _ stepping in, by the way. Glad to know that you’re full of shit when you say that you look out for your customers.”

David shrugged. “Well, it looked like you were enjoyin’ yourself so I thought I’d leave you to your fun.”

Feng Min frowned incredulously at him. “Um, what part of the whole ‘yanking my hair’ and ‘manhandling me’ thing gave you the impression that I was ‘enjoying it’?”

“Is that not how it works?”

She stared at him, completely baffled. “How what works? What are you talking about?”

“Y’know, the whole butch/femme thing.” David waved a hand in the air as if that explained it. “Yui’s butch, so she’s the top. You’re femme, uh, more or less, so you’re the bot, hence the whole ‘her grabbin’ you’ thing, yeah?”

Feng Min gave him a blank look.

David scrunched his face. “Huh, Nea’s been bullshittin’ me again.”

“Who’s Nea?”

“You’ve met her before.”

“Don’t remember it.”

“She’s that Scandinavian lass with the beanie hat.”

“Not ringing any bells.”

“She’s the one that punched you in the face when you drank her vodka.”

“Ah, her. She’s a bitch.”

“To be fair, you started it.”

“Maybe, but she didn’t have to sucker punch me. My nose was swollen for a week.”

“It was an improvement.”

“Fuck you.”

They bickered like that until David had to serve another customer. There were more people here now and still about an hour to go. She sipped on her drink as she waited, sitting by herself at the bar, listening to the chatters of the people around her. She thought about engaging with some of them; they were all here for Kate Denson after all so it should make for a natural icebreaker.

But she wasn’t really one for making conversation with random people, so she remained alone, nursing her whiskey, counting down the minutes until Kate’s show began. Besides, it was a nice change of pace to just hang out on her own somewhere that wasn’t her bedroom. 

If anything the bar smelled nicer.

She went through three glasses of whiskey before the performance started and she quickly downed her latest glass and made her way towards the stage. With the much larger crowd, Feng Min had to wrestle her way through the throngs of bodies to get even halfway towards the stage. It wasn’t the best view but it was the best she’s going to get. 

Her breath hitched when her eyes fell on Kate.

If Feng Min thought that Kate was beautiful last night, then the only word she could describe her tonight was ‘sexy’. Her makeup was sharp, dark eyeshadows and mascara almost making her blue eyes glow. Her black lipstick shone underneath the lights of the bar, contrasting heavily with her pale skin. The dark gray off-the-shoulder cropped top, skin tight jeans and leather boots left nothing to the imagination, every curve of her perfect body on full display, just like the flower tattoo sleeve around her left arm.

Feng Min could feel her mouth going dry and it took everything she had to keep still, fighting the arousal building just at the sight, arousal that had been simmering since last night. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She came here to enjoy Kate’s show, not drool at her like some hormone-addled teenager.

And enjoy the show she did.

Kate started off the same way she did every performance in Galewin, by chatting with members of the crowd, calling them by their first names. This time it went a bit longer due to the sheer number of people but eventually the show began proper. It was just as captivating as, if not more so than, last night and Feng Min was entranced almost instantly. Most of the songs tonight were more lowkey so there wasn't as much rowdiness among the crowd, which Feng Min was grateful for. As much as she loved a good mosh pit, she was wearing makeup and didn’t really want them to ruin them.

Partway into the second half of the show Feng Min noticed something. Kate seemed distracted. It didn’t compromise her singing or playing in any way so Feng Min didn’t notice it sooner but Kate seemed like she was looking for something. Or someone. Her eyes kept sweeping the audience every few minutes or so. Feng Min hadn’t thought much of it in the beginning since Kate’s one of those singers that liked to make eye contact with her fans while performing but after a while she noticed that Kate never lingered on the same person more than a few seconds.

Then it hit her; Kate must be looking for Yui, who Feng Min realized wasn’t at the bar after a quick look around. And here she thought she could go the whole night without having to think about that woman. Where the fuck was she? One would think she would be here considering what she said last night and Feng Min was sure Kate’s thinking the same thing as well.

And yet Yui was nowhere to be found.

Feng Min felt her blood boil despite herself. Who did Yui think she was, leading Kate on like that? Flirting with her, heavily implying she was going to accept Kate’s invitation from last night tonight, only to not even come for her performance after making a big show of asking her about it. How arrogant must she be to do something like this to Kate Denson, a celebrity?! Kate should be the one making Yui look for her, not the other way around.

Loud cheers and clappings pulled Feng Min out of her imaginary Yui-murdering plan. She looked at the stage and saw Kate waving and bowing, signalling an end to the show. Feng Min joined in on the clapping, her anger dissipating for the moment, though it didn’t last long because as Kate was walking off the stage, she was still scanning the crowd and just as she stepped off, Feng Min could’ve sworn she saw disappointment in Kate’s eyes.

Oh, she was  _ so  _ going to punch Yui in the face when she saw her.

If she was even going to show up. 

Fuck, now she was in a bad mood. Even when Yui wasn’t here she still somehow managed to annoy her.

Kate emerged from the backstage a couple minutes later and like usual, the crowd swarmed around her. And like usual Feng Min stood to the side, watching as Kate smiled and laughed and signed and waved to her adoring fans, many of them who’d known her since she was a child, and many still who came from all over America just to watch her perform in her hometown.

And then there’s Feng Min who just stood to the side. Of course, she’s not the only one to not interact with Kate after a show, there were a number that either left or went back to their own thing in the bar once it was done, but she’s pretty sure she’s the only one to lurk and stare. Made her feel like a creep sometimes.

Yet she still did it every time.

Because she’s a coward.

Great, now she’s in a shitty mood. Looked like her mind wasn’t going to let her enjoy Kate Denson’s performance two nights in a row without dragging her through the mud. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to fight back the wave of self-deprecation rising. She almost reached up and rubbed her face but just barely managed to resist it, remembering that she was still in makeup.

She no longer remembered why she did it. No amount of products would be able to change what she was; a pathetic, useless—

“Why the long face?” A familiar, angelic voice spoke from before her.

Feng Min’s heart was already in her throat as she opened her eyes wide and looked up with very much a ‘caught in headlights’ expression. Kate Denson was standing right in front of her, hands behind her back, leaning forward slightly, a sweet smile on her face. This close, Feng Min could see just how blue her eyes were, like sapphires, sparkling and vivid. 

It was then that Feng Min realized that the bar was mostly empty. She’d spent the last god knew how long just standing there, long enough for Kate to approach her.

“My performance wasn’t that bad, was it?” Kate continued, mirth dancing in her eyes.

No!” Feng Min sputtered, almost too forceful. Kate leaned back slightly, though she seemed more amused than offended. Feng Min reined herself in, feeling her heart pounding in her ears. “I...uh… I mean, y-your performance is great! Amazing even, it was… it was, uh, um—”

“Whoa, calm down.” Kate chuckled. “I was just teasing. No need to get worked up over it.”

“Sorry.” Feng Min said almost breathlessly and tried to steady her breathing. It wasn’t working.

“No worries.” Kate waved it off, then she scrunched her face. “Umm… Feng Min, is that right? I hope I pronounced that correctly, I apologize if I didn’t.”

Feng Min just about kept her mouth from dropping. “Uh, yeah! Um, h-how did you…”

“... know your name?” Kate finished for her. “I asked around. Always wondered who you were. I keep seeing you every time I’m here for a show, always standing to the side and watching. I got curious.” Then Kate started, as if realizing something. “I hope that’s okay, didn’t mean to come across as a stalker or anything like that. I’m innocent, I swear.” She held up her hands in mock-surrender, then giggled to herself.

Mortification rose as Kate’s words sank in.  _ Oh god, no.  _ All those times Feng Min spent staring at Kate, over the last four years, she saw. She noticed. Noticed enough to find out who she was.

_ Someone please kill me. _

“Wha— I uh… um… I didn’t…” Feng Min stammered, looking everywhere but at Kate, feeling panic rising.

Well-manicured hands, tipped with pink nail polish, grabbed her shoulders gently and Feng Min stiffened, inadvertently staring into bright blue eyes. Warmth flooded through her, emanating from where Kate was touching her before travelling down, stoking the fire that had been flickering there. It took all Feng Min had to not squirm and she hoped beyond hope that Kate didn’t notice.

“Hey, you okay there?” Kate gave her a reassuring smile. “Not gonna run away from me again, are you?”

“W-what?”

“I saw you last night. I waved at you and you bolted right outta here like the forces of hell was coming down on you.” Kate chuckled. 

_ Oh no no no this can’t be happening— _

Kate grimaced as she continued staring at Feng Min, who was slowly dying of embarrassment and having an internal meltdown. “I probably shouldn’t have brought that up judging by your reaction. I apologize.”

“You don’t have to!” Feng Min cut in, realized she was being too loud again and pulled herself in. “I-I mean, it’s my fault.” She laughed nervously, fidgeting about. “You don’t h-have to apologize. I was t-the one who… ran away. I just… uh…” her voice faltered and she cleared her throat, “... I just didn’t want you to… see… me.”

She trailed off at the end, scrunching her shoulders.  _ Fuck, why did I say that? What’s wrong with me? _

“Oh?” Kate tilted her head questionably. “May I ask why?”

Fuck, her and her big mouth.

“I uh…” Feng Min wracked her brain for something to say that would get her out of this hole she dug herself into. Nothing came to mind. Then she relented and her head and shoulders drooped. Might as well tell the truth, however pathetic it made her look. “I didn’t know you were coming here last night and… and wasn’t prepared. I-I didn’t want you to s-see me in… that state. Y’know…” she gestured weakly at her current appearance, “... not like this.”

Shame rose in her, all-encompassing, paralyzing. Great, her first time talking to Kate Denson and she was outing herself as the pathetic excuse of a human being she was. All she wanted was for this to end so she could go back home and never show her face to Kate again. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” one of Kate’s hands released Feng Min’s shoulder and she felt fingers touch her chin, urging her to lift her head until she met Kate’s eyes again, so full of empathy and kindness, “you are beautiful, makeup or no.”

Feng Min’s heart skipped a beat at the compliment, her mouth falling slightly.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise,” Kate continued, “that includes yourself. Okay?”

“Y-yes.” Feng Min’s voice was barely a exhale, but inside she was just about ready to explode.

Kate Denson called her beautiful! She could cry out in joy if she wasn’t still so paralyzed by Kate’s presence.

“Great.” Kate beamed and dropped her hands. Feng Min’s shoulders and chin still tingled from her touch, already missing the contact. “Anyway, I—”

“Sorry I’m late.”

Feng Min’s heart sank.  _ No, no, no not now, please!  _

But it was too late, Kate was already turning away from her and she involuntarily reached out towards her before catching herself. She clasped her hands firmly by her thighs and her eyes firmly at the floor, stewing impotently in her frustration as Yui once again ruined things for her.

“Oh, um, hey.” Kate said to Yui, her voice much softer, almost demure. “How, uh, how was your day?”

“Busy.” Came Yui’s reply, said almost nonchalantly, as if she didn’t just leave one of the most talented and beautiful women Feng Min that existed hanging for an entire night. “Had a couple things to take care of, that’s why I couldn’t attend your show tonight. I’m really sorry.”

“No worries.” Kate waved her off. “I understand that you recently moved here so it’s expected. Besides, I barely noticed your absence.”

_ Lies. _

“Oho?” From Yui’s tone, Feng Min gathered she didn’t believe it as well. “Is that right?” A pause. “Though I suppose you have good company keeping you entertained. Not even going to say hi, Min?”

Feng Min stiffened, glanced up, saw Yui staring at her, looking amused. She was still in her usual ensemble of jacket, pink top, and jeans, though for the first time since Feng Min met her, her goggles were absent from her forehead. She also realized that the acrylic nails on Yui’s right hand were gone, nails still painted pink, but cut really,  _ really _ short.

Feng Min flushed.

“Oh,” Kate looked between the two of them, “you two know each other?”

“Uh—”

“You can say that,” Yui cut Feng Min off, her gaze turning mischievous, “she was actually the first local to go out of their way to speak to me. Made me feel welcome.”

Red tinged Feng Min’s cheeks and she glared at Yui, but instantly covered it with a forced smile when Kate looked at her again.

“Aw, how nice.” Kate gave her shoulder a soft punch. “Way to go giving the newcomer the Galewin hospitality.”

“It was certainly something.” Yui said, that infuriating smirk on her face.

Feng Min fought the rising annoyance building within her. Yui was clearly trying to rile her up. She would not get baited, especially not in front of Kate.

"Anyway,” Yui continued, returning her attention to Kate as she stepped closer, “can I take you up on your offer from last night?”

She lowered her voice to a contralto as she did so, her posture and expression becoming more playful and cocky. 

Feng Min could see faint pink bloom on Kate’s cheeks as she stammered a bit. “O-oh, uh…” she looked around the bar, then her eyes fixed on Feng Min and started, as if remembering she was there. “S-sure.” Kate let out a nervous laugh as she looked back at Yui. “Of course.”

Yui’s smirk widened. “Great. Can I hitch a ride with you? Didn’t bring my bike today.” She pushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes and her bare forehead.

Kate gave a quick nod. “Sure! I’ll uh,” she turned her attention back to Feng Min, who was beginning to feel very much like a third wheel, though her heart rose again as Kate’s blue eyes met hers. Kate flashed her a bright smile. “It was nice meeting you, Min. Next time, don’t be a stranger. I’m always up for a chat, ‘kay?”

“Y-yeah.” Feng Min said with a timid smile and a small wave, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

Kate waved goodbye and headed out, giving Yui a shy look as she did so. Once she was gone, Yui looked at Feng Min and her smirk disappeared, that familiar stoicism returning. Feng Min bristled, finally letting her anger show now that Kate wasn’t here. 

“What?!” Feng Min snapped. “Don’t you have somewhere else you need to be, or are you going to make her wait like you did the whole night like you’re hot shit?”

Yui didn’t respond, just continued staring, not a change in her expression. Feng Min scoffed, bitterness laced in her voice.

“What does she see in you?” She muttered, her voice small and weak.

She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. When she realized she did, her cheeks burned and she crossed her arms, staring holes into the floor, hating how pouty and immature she sounded. She could feel Yui’s eyes bore into her.

“You look nice.” Yui said after a stretch of awkward and tense silence.

Feng Min started at that, looked up, eyes wide. Yui was already walking away, disappearing out the door, leaving Feng Min standing there, staring after her, a mixture of confusion and anger and… warmth at the sudden compliment.

Pushing her conflicting feelings aside, she left the bar as well, wanting to just get home and not think about Yui anymore. This proved difficult as the first thing she saw and heard was Kate’s truck roaring through the street and as it passed, she saw Yui in the passenger seat, chatting with a smiling Kate.

A sick feeling bloomed in her chest as she watched the truck drive away and she hurried back home, wanting to outrun it. But it followed her, clung to her, even as she closed the front door of her house behind her. That feeling only continued to grow as she stood before her bathroom window and scrubbed her makeup off, watching the wipes strip layers after layers of products away, revealing the pathetic girl beneath it.

She hated it, hated how much she hated herself and she hated how fucking jealous she was, knowing that Yui was with Kate right now, doing what Feng Min could only fantasize about doing. It wasn’t fair. Why did Yui have to move here? Out of all the backwater American towns she could’ve gone to, why here? Kate had talked to her. She came up to Feng Min and  _ talked to her. _

And she called her beautiful. Today was supposed to be the happiest times of her life, just like how her mood was always better whenever Kate visited in previous years. But now she just felt sick, and it was all Yui’s fault. Kate was paying attention to her until Yui showed up and Feng Min was all but forgotten. 

Her one source of comfort, tainted and ruined by a woman she didn’t even know.

Feng Min could feel pinpricks of tears in her eyes, which just made her angrier and feel more pathetic as she rubbed her eyes furiously. She refused to cry, especially about Yui. Anyone but her. 

_ Fuck her, fuck that stupid biker bitch. I never want to see her again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy, Chapter 4! Only took 2 weeks cuz work got super busy all of a sudden X~X This one was also a hard one to write and went in many different directions before I settled on it. Not sure how I feel about the way it came out but hope you all enjoy nonetheless.


	5. Chapter 5

And she didn’t for the next two weeks.

That second night was Kate Denson’s final performance so over the next few days, most of the out-of-towners started leaving and before long, Galewin was back to its usual sleepy self. Without the lure of Kate’s show to pull her out of her home, Feng Min went back to her usual schedule of cooping herself in her bedroom and gaming until the dead of night, leaving her house only to buy groceries or head to the bar for the occasional drink.

It was comforting in its familiarity. And it kept her mind from lingering on some of the more… upsetting things that occurred during those two nights, things that she wished to excise from her memories so she could just be left with Kate’s enchanting performances and being called beautiful by her.

And she supposed her banter with David could stay as well, even if most of it was at her expense.

Everything else could go.

She started playing League again and after five days of hard grinding, she was finally back to Diamond II. Still not where she was originally at but she’ll take it nonetheless. Her teammates were not as toxic nor were they completely trash so she was able to carry in most of them. Even her losses were not as one-sided and the opponent team had to work for their victories. If this continued, she’d be Challenger again real soon, by next week if she was being optimistic.

To celebrate her successful climb so far, Feng Min decided to head to King’s Refuge and get some quality alcohol instead of the cheap beer she’d been getting from the mall. While there, David mentioned off-handedly that Kate was still in town, which surprised her. In all the previous years, Kate usually left a day after her performance was finished, off to her next destination. Her still being here five days after was different.

Still, it filled her head with fantasies of bumping into Kate while in town and that possibility dominated her imaginations and dreams for quite a while.

“Heard that she’s been headin’ out to the woods most days,” David had said, “I think she’s workin’ on a new album if you ask me.”

That could very well be true. Kate had mentioned before in interviews that nothing got her creative juices flowing faster than to be surrounded by nature and that the forest in her hometown of Galewin - or rather, a specific spot in the forest - had been her ‘music nest’ where most inspirations for her early songs came from. 

And yet a small part of Feng Min doubted it, that she had another reason for staying behind, that reason being a certain biker. She terminated it before it had a chance to take root, that line of thought could only lead to ruin. Instead, she just hummed in agreement and moved the conversation on from Kate. Feng Min could tell that it puzzled David as she wasn’t one who would pass up any chance to talk about Kate but thankfully, he didn’t pry.

“She asked about you, y’know?” David remarked casually as he poured Feng Min three more shots of vodka, her lasts for the day.

“Kate?” Feng Min felt a surge of elation rising despite herself.

“Yui.”

She deflated instantly, grimacing in disgust. “Ugh. You’re a monster, David. What did she want and what did you tell her?”

“Nothin’ really. Came a few days ago, had a bourbon, then casually asked what and I quote, ‘that Chinese Diogenes reject up to’.”

“Huh?” Feng Min frowned, unsure if she should be offended or not. “What does that even mean?”

David shrugged, looking just as confused as her. “Fuck if I know, I only know she’s talkin’ about you ‘cause you’re the only Chinese person in Galewin.”

Feng Min hummed in displeasure as she downed one shot glass and side-eyed David almost accusingly. “So what did you tell her?”

David rolled his eyes. “Stand down, Min, all I said was that you were fine and probably marinatin’ in your room with your eyes glued to the computer screen like some obsessed gremlin.”

“King, what the fuck?”

“I defy you to tell me that isn’t true.”

Feng Min grumbled and took her second shot. “What else did she want?”

“Nothin’, just finished her drink and left. Haven’t seen her since.”

“Hmm,” Feng Min mulled over that for a moment, then shrugged, “whatever, not like I care.”

“Right.” David said in a tone that very much implied that he didn’t believe her.

Feng Min wasn’t sure if she would either.

She downed her final shot.

* * *

“Come on! Start, you useless hunk of junk!”

Feng Min twisted her ignition key once more. Her car revved and sputtered but adamantly refused to start. She let go with a frustrated cry and slumped back into her seat. One hand dragged across her face as she released a long, drawn-out groan, surrendering herself to the fact that her car had shuffled off this mortal coil. 

She stepped out and popped the hood. She was in the town mall parking lot, having just finished her usual grocery shopping for the week. It took about five seconds of staring at her car engine before she realized that she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. The most advanced automobile-related skill she knew was refilling her car’s water tank, or whatever it’s called. 

“Fuck.” She grumbled in frustration, one hand on her hip as she stared at her engine helplessly, as if glaring at it would somehow get it to work.

She was going to have to get it fixed at the local repair shop, which was probably going to cost a lot. She swore to herself again. This was what she got putting off bringing her car in for its annual servicing. She reluctantly pulled out her phone and dialed up Autohaven and Philip, the only person working at Autohaven besides the owner, told her that he would be arriving with the tow truck in fifteen minutes, which she spent sitting inside her car with the door opened, bored out of her mind, just mindlessly surfing the net on her phone to kill time.

Feng Min heard the tow truck before she saw it, the loud sputtering and coughing almost deafening in the dead quiet. She watched as it came into view up the road and turned into the parking lot, heading towards her.

“About time.” She muttered, putting her phone away and getting out of her car. She crossed her arms as she waited for the tow truck to reach her.

As it got closer, Feng Min could make out the figure behind the wheel and it wasn’t Philip; he was tall and broad. This driver was smaller and much slimmer, and as the truck swiveled to get to the front of Feng Min’s car, she saw dirty blond hair pulled into a tight ponytail. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Feng Min watched in disbelief as Yui stepped out of the tow truck and walked towards her. 

Her eyes instantly went to Yui’s outfit and she could feel herself turning red even despite the rising annoyance. This was probably the first time Feng Min saw Yui without her usual biker girl getup. Gone were the jacket and top, replaced with what seemed to be an old and very worn white sleeveless T-shirt with some faded black and pink design on the front. But what caught Feng Min’s attention was the fact that the entire sides of the shirt were ripped, frayed along the edges, revealing the black sports bra she wore underneath, her well-sculpted abs, and toned biceps and shoulders. 

It was tucked into a pair of dark jeans, the only thing keeping it from fluttering like a flag in the cold wind that didn’t seem to bother her. Thick work gloves and boots finished her look. Her face was also bare, but to Feng Min’s infuriation, she still looked good, the only blemishes on her skin being bits of grime and dirt and even that seemed to make her look rugged in an unkempt sort of way. 

How the fuck could someone be both sexy  _ and  _ handsome at the same time? How was that fair? Feng Min’s mood continued to sour the closer Yui got to her. She didn’t even look at Feng Min, just stopped in front of the popped hood of her car and began closing it.

That ticked Feng Min off even more.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She blurted out with a little more hostility that she might or might not intend.

Yui looked at her as she slammed the car hood shut, expression deadpan. “Is that any way to speak to the mechanic that’s going to be fixing your car?”

“Since when do you work at Autohaven?” Feng Mina asked, her tone almost challenging. 

Yui walked to the back of the tow truck and pulled the hook towards the car. “Started last week. Saw an ad and applied for it, got a call the next day.”

“Good for you.”

“Your sarcasm is appreciated.” Yui latched the hook underneath the car bumper and straightened. She fixed a flat stare at Feng Min. “You coming?”

“What?” Feng Min scrunched her face, not liking much the idea of being in the same vehicle as Yui.

“You want to walk?”

Feng Min grumbled slightly, hating every second of this moment, then relented and headed towards the tow truck, adamantly refusing to even glance at Yui as she passed her. She climbed into the passenger seat, fastened her seatbelt and sat there, arms crossed, eyes staring ahead. After a while, she heard the driver side door open, slammed shut, the jangle of keys, engine revving as it started up. 

The truck shook and roared like an unstable chainsaw as it puttered out of the parking lot onto the road. While it grated on Feng Min’s brain like nails on chalkboard, she appreciated it if only because it filled the stony silence between her and Yui. 

For the next few minutes, not a single word was spoken between them and Feng Min spent each second of it either staring out the windshield or the side window, completely ignoring the existence of the woman in the driver seat. That proved easier said than done considering how tense and awkward the atmosphere was in the truck. It took everything Feng Min had to not fidget and shift about, the seat she was in suddenly extremely uncomfortable and hot, making her back and butt ache, not helped by the truck’s constant rattling.

And so, Feng Min found her mind inevitably drifting to Yui. More specifically, what happened the last time they saw each other and jealousy rose despite herself. She remembered how easily Yui was able to steal Kate’s attention away from her, how flustered she’d made Kate just by being there, and how she had left with Kate in her truck, off to god-knew-where to—

Feng Min gave her head a hard shake, ending that line of thought before it went any further. But it was too late, heat blossomed on her cheeks and she quickly looked out the side window, making sure her face was turned away from Yui. She mentally scolded herself and tried to force herself to calm down, willing the blood to drain from her face. 

“You okay?” Yui’s voice was so sudden that Feng Min had to suppress a jolt.

“What?” Feng Min snapped, sounding crabbier than she wanted but whatever, not like she cared whether she hurt Yui’s feelings or not anyway.

“You seem uncomfortable.”

Feng Min scoffed and side-eyed Yui. “Oh, so now you care about my comfort? After all the times you manhandled and yanked me around?”

“Part of the job, I’m obligated to care.” Yui didn’t even look at her, just continued staring forward.

Feng Min wasn’t sure why that ticked her off.

“Good to know you only give a shit about other people on a nine-to-five basis.”

“I work from ten to seven.”

“It was a figure of speech, you—” Feng Min’s spike of irritation diffused as Yui’s words fully registered and she gave Yui a baffled look. “You work nine hours a day?”

Yui didn’t respond, just nodded.

Feng Min stared at her some more, then looked forward. “That’s fucked up.”

“The pay’s good. Co-worker and boss’ nice. Close to where I live too.”

“Still though, how do you even have time for yourself?”

“I make do.” Yui said, her tone still even. A short pause. “Do you work?”

Feng Min shifted self-consciously and looked away, shame rising within her. She mumbled softly, just barely audible beneath the rumbling of the truck. “I used to.”

Feng Min could feel Yui’s gaze on her even without looking, the first time Yui’s looked at her since they got in the truck. She shifted and kept her eyes out the side window, dreading Yui’s next question. Mercifully, it didn’t come and they spoke no further for the rest of the drive.

Five minutes later, they arrived at Autohaven. It wasn’t much, just a small single-storey building on one side of a crossroad. Yui maneuvered the tow truck so that she could park Feng Min’s car into the space in front of the garage.

“We’re here.” Yui said redundantly as she turned off the engine and leapt out.

Feng Min followed suit and watched silently as Yui began unhitching her car from the tow truck. The side door inside the garage which led to the rest of Autohaven opened and a man stepped out. He was tall and broad-shouldered, angular face and strong jawline, hazel eyes soft and kind. The white sleeveless shirt he wore contrasted with his dark skin, stained and dirty like Yui’s tucked into a pair of dark jeans and boots.

He smiled as he walked towards them, clicking his tongue playfully when his eyes laid on Feng Min. “I had a feeling I’d be seeing you sooner or later. I told you how many times not to skip car servicing but you never seem to listen.”

“Get off my back, Philip.” Feng Min griped without her usual bite, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms. “It slipped my mind.”

“For two years?”

Feng Min furrowed her brows as she pondered over his words. “Huh, has it been two years already? Fuck, time sure flies.” She then looked around. “Where’s Warcraft?”

“You know Mr. Azarov hates it when you call him that.”

“Then he should change his name.” Feng Min shrugged.

Philip sighed in resignation. “He’s on sick leave, came down with a bad fever.”

“Sucks to be him.”

He gave her a tired look, then turned to Yui, who’d just finished detaching the hook from Feng Min’s car. He glanced back at Feng Min. “Alright, get in your car and release the breaks. Let’s get it inside the garage.”

Feng Min did what he asked and sat in the passenger seat as she watched both Philip and Yui push her car, her eyes automatically drawn to Yui. She watched as effort marr Yui’s face, as droplets of sweat trailed down the sides of her face and her tense biceps. Then Yui’s eyes met hers and Feng Min instantly looked away, trying to keep the red on her cheeks from showing.

“It’ll probably take about thirty minutes or so to figure out what’s broken, probably everything.” Philip mumbled the last part. “There’s a mini fridge in the break room, you can put your groceries there in the meantime so they don’t get spoiled.”

“Thanks.” Feng Min said as she slipped out of her car, firmly keeping her eyes away from Yui, and retrieved her groceries from the trunk.

“You ready for your first official car work, Yui?” She heard Philip say as she headed to the side door. 

“Can’t wait to start, Mr. Ojomo.” Came Yui’s reply.

“That’s what I like to hear. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll be in my office.”

Feng Min looked at Philip questionably as he followed her, then turned to give Yui a look of suspicion, who’ve taken her place in front of Feng Min’s car. “You’re letting the newbie work on my car alone?”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, princess.” Yui said as she popped the hood.

Feng Min bristled at the return of that nickname, then sniffed. “Whatever, you break anything, you pay for it.”

She didn’t wait for her to respond, just left the garage into the office area, essentially a narrow corridor with doors. Philip followed close behind.

“I take it you two know each other then?” He asked the moment the door closed.

“What gave it away?” Feng Min beelined for the break room, last door to the right, lugging her groceries with her.

“You two just seem friendly with each other is all.”

Feng Min blanched and gave Philip a look of mortification. “What?! You call that ‘friendly’?!”

Philip just shrugged, amusement clear in his eyes, as he disappeared into his office. Feng Min narrowed her eyes at him as he closed the door. Her and Yui? Friendly? Oh, please, Philip must be seeing things. She stepped into the break room, a tiny space with just a breakfast table, three chairs, a couple kitchen counters with a sink, coffee machine, and mini-fridge. Feng Min put her meat products and eggs into it and left the rest in a pile next to it.

She was about to leave and head back to the garage when she realized that she’d be alone with Yui there, which did not appeal to her in the least. Scrunching her face in displeasure, she looked around the break room. She supposed she could hang out here until Yui finished with her car. Not like she had to be at the garage anyway.

No, fuck that. 

Feng Min wasn’t going to let some punkass biker bitch dictate her actions. Hiding here simply to avoid being in the same space as Yui? Feng Min would never be able to live with herself, letting Yui have that much power over her. And so, she steeled herself and left.

Yui was doing…  _ something  _ to her car engine when she stepped back into the garage. Her body was bent forward, almost underneath the hood, fiddling and inspecting, occasionally twisting. Feng Min eyed her as she took her spot to the side next to the tool rack on the wall.

“Come to enjoy the show?” Yui said, not even glancing at her.

“More like to make sure you don’t sabotage anything and get me killed.” Feng Min snarked, giving Yui a glare she couldn’t see.

“And here I thought I was starting to grow on you.” 

Feng Min would’ve been impressed by how Yui could speak in her usual monotone and still convey condescension at the same time if it weren’t directed at her, though she’d probably still get pissed off by it even if it wasn’t because Yui annoyed her in general.

“Yeah, like fungus.”

“Hmm,” Yui hummed, “I’ll take that.”

Feng Min rolled her eyes and the two of them stopped speaking, the only sound coming from Yui working on her car. A gust of wind blew into the garage and Feng Min shivered, rubbing her shoulders to keep warm, the cold biting into her even through her coat. Feng Min glanced at Yui, who seemed completely unfazed. 

With the way Yui was bent over, the front flap of what remained of her shirt was hanging down, completely exposing her front. And Feng Min had a perfect view from where she was standing. A layer of sweat and grime coated every inch of her exposed skin, her neck, her defined biceps, and her tight abs, making them glisten in the light.

How she could walk about dressed like  _ that  _ without freezing her ass off was beyond Feng Min.

Or without feeling self-conscious. Though she supposed if she had a body like Yui’s, she’d probably take every chance to show it off... No, definitely not. Feng Min would never have the guts to show that much skin in public. Not like she had much to show off anyway.

Her eyes trailed up Yui’s bare abs to the sports bra that preserved her modesty. It wasn’t skimpy or anything; in fact, it covered up more than a typical sports bra, but it still left nothing to the imagination. Feng Min blushed and she turned her head slightly away, though her gaze lingered, drinking in the sight. Warmth bloomed within her despite herself and she involuntarily bit her lower lip.

“Enjoying the view?”

Feng Min’s heart stuttered as a jolt went through her and she instantly ripped her eyes away from Yui. “N-no!” She managed to force out, her voice forceful and breathless.

“Really?” Yui said. “So you weren’t just ogling me like some horny creep?”

“What?!” Feng Min turned back to fix Yui a glare, only to catch her staring back and she faltered for a moment. “I wasn’t o-ogling you! Don’t make stupid assumptions about me! I’m not a creep!”

Yui finally ducked out from underneath the car hood and walked towards Feng Min, eyes that betrayed nothing fixed on her. Feng Min stiffened and instinctively took a step back only to be met with the wall, allowing Yui to close the gap, looming over the shorter Feng Min, who could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

“Is that so?” 

Yui’s voice was much softer and lower, not quite a contralto but it still sent a shiver through Feng Min nonetheless, which she tried to suppress though she was sure Yui noticed it. Feng Min opened her mouth to speak, to retaliate, anything, but the words caught in her throat. All she could do was stand there, heart racing, her face and body burning, and fight the urge to jump out of her skin. She barely had the composure to meet Yui’s eyes for longer than two seconds before needing to look away, and because of their height difference, resulted in Feng Min staring at Yui’s chest, which just flustered her even more so in the end she kept her head resolutely turned to the side.

Feng Min flinched when Yui abruptly lifted her right hand. Wide eyes watched as she grabbed something off the tool rack beside them, then back on Yui as she turned away and walked back to the car. Feng Min exhaled, body slouching, legs wobbling, and she pressed her palms against the wall behind her to keep from sliding to the ground.

By the time Feng Min regained her composure, Yui was already back to working on her car as if nothing had happened. Her heart still beat like a jackhammer within her chest and her breathing was shallow. It took a while for Feng Min to gather enough wits about her to even work her throat enough to form words.

“W-what the fuck was that?” She managed to stammer out, anger and irritation rising to the forefront.

“Needed to grab something from the tool rack.” Yui said nonchalantly, not even looking away from the car engine.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” Feng Min spat out, tone laced with accusation.

Yui paused mid-task and her eyes flicked over to Feng Min, a hint of amusement as well as challenge in them. “Then what  _ are  _ you talking about?” 

Feng Min was about to retort, then realized that Yui was deliberately baiting her and clamped her mouth shut, settling for a dirty glare instead before turning away with a huff, not caring how petulant she was coming across. 

Silence settled between them once more and Feng Min decided to play some mobile game on her phone that she just downloaded off the Play Store to distract herself from Yui and to mitigate her boredom. It was actually surprisingly fun and was not as in-your-face with the microtransactions so she found herself getting really into it after about ten minutes of gametime. 

After what seemed like mere moments but in reality was probably much longer, she heard Philip call her name. She instantly straightened and pocketed her phone. Philip was standing before her, an amused look on his face. She didn’t even notice him entering the garage. Yui was still by Feng Min’s car, leaning her hip against the now-closed hood with her arms crossed, staring at her.

“That must’ve been some game.” Philip remarked. “Yui said you were basically a zombie the last twenty minutes.”

Narrowing her eyes at Yui, Feng Min said. “Did she now?”

“Am I wrong?” Yui said, staring back impassively.

Feng Min groaned in annoyance before focusing back on Philip. “So what’s the verdict?”

“You want the good news or the bad news?”

“Bad news.”

“It’ll take about a day to fix your car, so you’ll only be able to get it back tomorrow.”

Hmm, unfortunate but expected, she supposed. “And the good news?”

“Your car can be fixed.”

Feng Min stared at him.

“In hindsight, probably better to start with the good news in this context.” Philip said after a short moment of introspection.

“You think?” 

“Stow the sarcasm, young lady.” Philip gave her a stern stare, though the smile tugging at the corner of his lips betrayed it. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to subject you to the mortifying ordeal of walking all the way back home while lugging your groceries along.”

“What, you gonna drive me?” Feng Min frowned, then looked around the garage. “Don’t you have a business to manage?”

“Indeed I do. That’s why Yui’s going to do it.” He turned to look at her.

Feng Min tensed as Yui’s eyes briefly darted to her, expression unreadable, then she gave the barest hint of a half-shrug.

“Sure.” She uncrossed her arms and made for the garage door, brushing past Feng Min. “I’ll help you with your groceries.”

“No,” Feng Min pushed herself from the wall and darted at Yui, trying to cut her off before she stepped through the door, “fuck off, I can carry them myself.” 

But Yui was too fast, already opening the break room door by the time Feng Min caught up. Yui opened the mini-fridge and took out Feng Min’s groceries, then grabbed the ones next to it, all the while ignoring Feng Min’s protests.

“Are you always this pigheaded?” She grumbled as she followed Yui back out into the garage.

“Are you always this ungrateful?” Yui said as she grabbed the tow truck key off a nearby workbench and unlocked the door.

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

Philip chuckled, seemingly enjoying the show. “Come on, Min, let her help. Can’t you see she’s trying to make a good impression.”

“Oh, I assure you,” Feng Min glared at Yui, who had begun loading the groceries into the space between the driver and the passenger seats, “the time for impressions have  _ long  _ since passed.” 

“We finally agree on something.” Yui turned back to meet Feng Min’s stinkeye and added. “You coming?”

Feng Min briefly considered not moving just to spite her but then realized how childish she’d look so she just grumbled softly before heading to the passenger seat. 

“I sent you her address.” Philip said to Yui as Feng Min climbed into the truck, typing into his phone. “You should be receiving it any second now.”

_ Great, now she knows where I live. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. _

Yui climbed into the driver’s seat, then pulled out her phone and fiddled with it for a moment. “Got it.” She placed it on the dashboard, the map app opened, then turned to Feng Min. “You didn’t leave anything behind?”

“Of course not. What do you think I am, a child?”

“Just checking.” Yui shrugged, slamming the driver’s door shut and starting the ignition. 

Yui gave a backward wave to Philip, who returned it, as they peeled out onto the road with a loud roar. 

There were barely any other cars on the street so their drive was smooth. Feng Min spent most of the ride staring out the window, watching the buildings pass her by, spotting the occasional pedestrian walking about. Strangely, the atmosphere in the truck was not as awkward as the drive to Autohaven. Feng Min couldn’t put a finger on why.

She glanced over at Yui, who was focused on the road, eyes occasionally going to her phone. It was about six in the afternoon and the sun was just beginning its journey down, casting its light at an angle through Yui’s side window. The light glistened along the edges of Yui’s face, her jaw, her hair and along her biceps, giving her an almost ethereal golden glow.

She couldn’t look away.

“You’re staring again.” Yui turned to her, a thin smirk on her face. “Am I that captivating?”

Feng Min broke her gaze and whipped her head away so fast her neck hurt, though it didn’t hurt as much as her face, burning so hot it stung. “G-get over yourself.” Feng Min huffed. It was then she realized how fast her heart was beating, to the point of hyperventilation. She crossed her arms tight across her chest, it didn’t help. 

The truck lurched suddenly, causing Feng Min to jump in her seat, eyes wide as they snapped to Yui, a curse at the tip of her tongue. Then she looked past her head and saw her house.

_ Oh, that was fast. _

“Sorry, truck’s old.” Yui’s voice did not sound sorry. 

Feng Min was already pushing her way out of the truck, grabbing her groceries along the way. It took more effort than she anticipated and she almost ripped a hole in one of her plastic bags.

“Want some help?” Yui asked, watching Feng Min’s struggle.

“No thank you.” Feng Min said through gritted teeth as she finally managed to wrestle her groceries out. 

“Alright, I’ll come pick you up tomorrow.”

Feng Min paused, then frowned at Yui. “Huh?”

Yui gave her a look. “Your car? Still at Autohaven? Unless you wanna walk, that’s fine too.”

Feng Min growled, slammed the truck door shut with significantly more force than necessary, causing the whole vehicle to shake, and stormed towards her house. She yanked the door open, stepped through, turned around, looked at the truck. Yui gave her a small wave from behind the side window. Feng Min slammed the door shut.

The sound of the tow truck peeling away stayed with her as she marched into the kitchen and started putting her groceries away. Feng Min was well-aware that her face was still burning red and that her heart had not calmed down. She groaned in frustration. What was wrong with her? 

And she got to go through this  _ again  _ when Yui picked her up tomorrow. 

“Gonna be an interesting day.” Feng Min sighed as she headed to her bedroom and distracted herself with video games until it was time for bed, putting Yui as far out of her mind as possible.

At least until tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So work was 'busy' the past month and I didn't get a chance to write as much. Never have I wanted to murder my boss as much as the last three weeks. Keeps changing his mind over and over again, meaning I gotta do the same thing over and over again. Groundhog Loop I swear! But anyway, I finally finished Chapter 5 where Feng Min and Yui finally interact with each other for longer than half a chapter lol. Hope you all enjoy it :3


	6. Chapter 6

Incessant knocking ripped Feng Min out of her sleep. She grumbled into her pillow, turned onto her side, and pulled her blanket over her head. The knocking continued, unceasing. A growl tore its way out of her throat as the hammering began etching itself into her brain, slowly chipping her peaceful slumber away.

“Fuck off!” Feng Min snapped, sandwiching her head between her pillow and blanket, a futile attempt at muffling the relentless drumming, the curse of thin walls.

Then it stopped.

Feng Min waited, tense and trepidatious. 

Seconds ticked by.

Nothing.

She relaxed. Finally, peace. She snuggled into her bed, tightened the blanket around herself and—

_ Knocknocknocknock… _

It resumed, louder than before. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Feng Min let out a frustrated yell, tossed aside her blanket, practically threw herself off her bed, and stormed downstairs. The incessant knocking seized when she yanked her front door open.

“What?!” She snarled at whoever it was on the other side, her unfocused eyes still blurry with sleep.

It took awhile for the abstract blob before her to sharpen into the bemused form of Yui, staring at her drily. She was dressed in a dirty tank top today, old and worn but not borderline shredded like the one from yesterday - though it still exposed her midriff, which seemed to be a thing with Yui, Feng Min noted - coupled with dark jacket, jeans and boots. She wasn’t wearing gloves as well, revealing her well-manicured nails painted hot pink, though the long and colorful acrylics had been removed from them. Her usual pair of goggles that was absent yesterday was pulled up over her forehead.

“Well, aren’t you a bundle of sunshine?” Her infuriating voice was like nails on chalkboards to Feng Min in her rudely-awakened state.

Feng Min groaned, partly from annoyance and partly from the chill now seeping into her skin from the outside air. “What the fuck are you doing here? Haven’t we seen enough of each other already?”

“Your car?” Yui placed a hand on her hip. “At Autohaven? I told you I was coming to pick you up.”

“Yeah, at a more reasonable time, not this early in the day.”

Yui’s gaze somehow turned even more deadpan. “It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Your point?” 

She gave Feng Min a long, hard look, the kind that Feng Min had embarrassingly faltered against before. But whether it was spite or her grumpiness or a combination of both, she managed to glare back without succumbing. A small victory but she’ll take it especially considering how this situation usually went for her. 

Yui exhaled through her nostril and shifted her posture slightly. “Do you want a ride or do you want to walk?” 

A long, drawn-out sigh left Feng Min as she leaned one shoulder against her door frame. “Fine, can I at least wash my face first?”

A single-shouldered shrug. “Sure, though I think you need more than a face wash, maybe a change of clothes.”

“Fuck you.” Feng Min knew Yui wouldn’t remain amiable for long so she was prepared for it. Didn’t make her any less pissed though.

“Suit yourself, not my problem.” Yui’s eyes darted down and a hint of a smirk curled the corner of her lips. “I’ll at least get a nice view.”

Feng Min frowned, looked down at herself, and turned red. Very late last night, she had accidentally spilled beer all over herself after a particularly frustrating loss in League. Being her usual self, she had just decided to grab a random article of clothing from her floor to replace her soiled ones instead of taking a shower because she was drunk and lazy. 

Said random article of clothing turned out to be, as Feng Min was discovering to her horror now, an oversized, raggedy white shirt. And  _ nothing else  _ underneath. The hem just barely preserved her modesty, going mere inches below her waist, and the shirt itself was worn. Coupled with the chilly air nipping at her, made parts of her anatomy stood in sharp points against the sheer fabric.

Twin points.

Mortification filled her as she instantly crossed one hand across her chest, the other tugging the front hem of her shirt down, and glared at Yui with equal parts humiliation and indignation. 

“You fucking creep!” 

Yui fixed her a deadpan stare. “Look who’s talking.”

Feng Min all but growled in disgust and slammed the door shut right in Yui’s face. “Give me a moment!” She said far too loud as she stomped upstairs.

“Can I at least wait inside?” Yui’s muffled voice called out.

Feng Min didn’t answer; she hurried into her bathroom and took a quick hot shower. She made sure to apply generous coatings of body wash over herself and shampoo into her hair as once again, she had neglected to keep up with her personal hygiene the past week. She wasn’t really sure why she was making the effort now as in any other situation, she’d just swap to a more socially appropriate outfit and be done with it, but the one thing she was sure about was that it definitely had nothing to do with Yui.

None at all.

Towelling herself dry, she made her way to her bedroom and was about to grab something random from the pile of dirty clothes littering the floor when she paused. She still had a couple of clean outfits left in her wardrobe from that one time she did her laundry, might as well wear them now. They were also her nicer clothes, hanging-out clothes, clothes that she rarely wore because hanging out wasn’t something she did very often anymore and it seemed a waste to wear them at home and stink them up.

After spending about a minute going through her wardrobe, she settled for a dark green jacket and top, blue shorts, and tights. She’d probably regret not wearing long pants but whatever, it wasn’t like she planned to be out very long anyway. Just a quick ride to Autohaven to retrieve her car and back. 

She was heading out of her room when her eyes caught her makeup box sitting on her drawer. Ever since she’d used it a couple weeks ago, she’d left it out instead of stuffing it back into her cupboard, occasionally playing around with it whenever fancy struck her. She’d already dressed herself up relatively nicely, why not put on makeup as well? Go all the way. 

Yup. that’s right. 

She’s just doing it for herself. It had nothing to do with anyone else and it most certainly had nothing to do with the fact that she noticed that Yui had light makeup on even though she was supposed to be working and she didn’t have any on when Feng Min saw her yesterday. Nope. None. Feng Min just liked makeup and this was an excuse to put some on. Nothing more to it.

Not at all.

She had just planned to put on some foundation and eyeliner when she started, but when she looked at herself in the mirror after she was done, she decided to do more touch-ups here and there. She added on some mascara, some blush, lipstick, then she added her fake lashes and before long, she got sucked into the process. 

Then she remembered that Yui was still waiting for her, if she hadn’t gotten impatient and just left, that was. That certainly seemed plausible and yet, somehow, Feng Min didn’t think so. Whatever, not like she actually cared whether she was wasting Yui’s time or not.

She hurried up anyway.

Thirty minutes later, Feng Min stared at herself in the mirror, relatively satisfied with her work. It wasn’t her best but it was serviceable considering she was rushing. A wave of warmth bloomed within her as she took in her appearance. She wasn’t sure why but something about putting on makeup always set her at ease, chased her self-hate away, made her think positively of herself. 

She was sure something could be said about how coating her face in layers of expensive products made her feel better about her self-worth.

But she’ll leave that for another time.

Getting up, Feng Min headed downstairs, grabbing her coat as she opened the front door. Yui was seated by the porch steps, back and head leaning against the support beam. One leg was stretched out over the top length of the porch and the other was bent up, her left hand resting on the knee. Her eyes had been closed, but they opened at the same time as the front door and her head rolled towards her, a bemused expression on her face.

Feng Min wasn’t sure but she could’ve sworn that Yui’s eyes widened slightly when she saw her, but it was gone in an instant and she was left with the usual bored look that Yui seemed to be her default state.

“You took your sweet time.” Yui said drily as she pushed herself to her feet. She then smirked as she took in Feng Min’s appearance. “You didn’t have to get yourself made up so nicely just for me, though it is appreciated.”

“Fuck off” Feng Min scoffed, cheeks turning pink despite herself. “I didn’t do it for you, I just felt like dressing up.”

Yui stared at Feng Min, her piercing brown eyes boring into her, and she began fidgeting, warmth spreading all over her skin like pinpricks of needles. God, she hated how her composure always broke beneath Yui’s gaze, no matter how much she steeled herself.

“Sure.” Yui deadpanned, then tilted her head towards the road as she turned. “Come on.”

Feng Min let out a shuddering breath as their eye contact broke. She cleared her throat, putting her mind back together, then locked her front door and followed after Yui. The chill of the air nipped at her, particularly her exposed legs, her tights offering little protection. She couldn’t wait to get into the truck and get herself out of the cold.

Then Feng Min realized that there was no truck in front of her house. Instead, there was a familiar motorcycle in white and pink, and Yui was currently hopping into it. Feng Min stopped walking, eyeing the bike. She then looked around, she spotted a few cars parked by the sidewalk, but no truck with the Autohaven logo. She turned back to the bike.

The motorcycle engine roared loudly as Yui turned it on, causing Feng Min to jolt, her heart skipping a beat. Yui turned to her.

“Get on.”

Feng Min was already shaking her head as she took a step back. “Yeah, no. I’m not getting on that. I’ll just walk.”

Yui gave her a look that Feng Min interpreted as exasperation, though all Yui did was narrow her eyes slightly and tilt her head. “Don’t be stubborn.”

“Well, forgive me for not wanting to die.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“Do you know how many people die in motorcycle accidents per year in this country? I’d rather not risk it.”

Yui, seemingly having had enough, swung herself off her bike and strode right up to Feng Min, who began backing away, trepidation rising. But Yui was faster and before long, she had one well-manicured hand clasped around Feng Min’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

Her eyes snapped down to the contact. Yui’s hand was calloused, probably from working on vehicles. It was hot, almost searing against Feng Min’s icy skin, tingling in a way that traveled up her arms, heating her up. Her first instinct had been to rip her hand out of Yui’s grip, but she couldn’t, not because the hold was tight; in fact, it was soft, much softer than Feng Min expected. 

So why couldn’t she just pull herself free?

Finally, she worked up the courage to glance up at Yui and her breath caught in her throat. This was probably the first time Yui was looking at her without her usual stoic gaze or infuriating smirk. Her expression was… gentle, her eyes warm,.

“Trust me.” Devoid of dry and deadpan sarcasm, a voice she’d never heard Yui used before. 

A warm sensation bloomed within Feng Min at those words, a sensation she couldn’t place and one she wasn’t sure she liked. And so, like every single time she was in a situation she didn’t like, Feng Min resorted to aggression. 

“Trust you?” She grimaced, her voice way more breathless and brittle than she wanted. “After everything you did to me?” She rolled her eyes, an excuse to look away from Yui’s intense gaze. “Oh please.”

Yui’s grip tightened ever so slightly and stepped closer towards Feng Min, who went ramrod straight, eyes instantly darting back up to Yui’s. Yui who was now right in her personal space, still wearing that expression that made Feng Min’s heart pound.

“Trust me.” Yui repeated, firmer and more insistent.

Those words wormed through her feeble defenses and settled within her, sending another surge of emotion through her she still couldn’t quite comprehend. Only this time, she found that she didn’t quite mind it, even as her face turned several shades of red. Then she realized that she had been silent for a beat too long, spending it just staring wide-eyed at Yui, and she jerked her head back.

She quickly covered her fraying composure with an almost haughty scoff. “Saying it again isn’t going to make it happen.” 

Faltering and laced with false bravado, Feng Min hated how weak she sounded. Hated how much control Yui had over her, how she could send Feng Min into disarray with just her proximity, her words, and her touch. 

The spell was broken when Yui’s face shifted back into her usual stoicism as she leaned back, her gaze sharpening, though there’s a hint of amusement in them. Feng Min relaxed slightly, though she remained tense. This Yui she was used to at least. 

“You’re really hard-headed and difficult, you know that?”

Feng Min glared at her. “You don’t get to say that to me.”

Yui let out a barely imperceptible sigh. “Well, if sincerity won’t convince you, then I’ll just have to try something else.”

“And what’s that?” Feng Min asked, voice half challenging, half apprehensive.

“Playing into your view of me.” She shoved her hands into her pockets. “I’m a biker, as you can probably tell. A street racer, to be exact. Meaning that my riding skill’s very important to me. If I crash and get myself or someone else hurt, not only would it besmirch my pride, but also hurt my rep. So I won’t do anything that would hurt you because doing so would be bad for me. There. Is that better?”

Feng Min stared at her for a long while, processing her words. It was obvious that Yui was a motorcycle aficionado of some kind, all one had to do was look at her bike. She wasn’t expecting her to be a street racer as well, never mind admit to it so blatantly. Weren’t street racing illegal? Does that mean Yui’s a criminal? A fugitive?

Her mind cycled through several other possibilities, each more outlandish than the last before she just shoved it all aside. Fact of the matter was that she’d never ridden a motorcycle before so she was scared, not that she would admit that out loud, and she didn’t much fancy riding one driven by Yui.

_ But  _ the thought of walking in this freezing excuse of a weather was very unappealing to Feng Min; just thinking about it made her shiver. So after grumbling to herself, she sighed in resignation.

“Fine.” She then fixed Yui a pointed stare. “If I die, I swear to god I will haunt you until your dying days.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Yui held a hand out, ushering Feng Min towards her motorcycle, which had been sitting there with its engine idling softly the whole time.

As Feng Min got closer to the bike and watched Yui hop onto it, she slowed. In small part due to apprehension about riding on a motorcycle, but mostly because in order to ride on said motorcycle, she needed to sit behind Yui,  _ very  _ closely behind Yui, and press herself against her back.

Feng Min could feel skin prickling just thinking about it. She couldn’t tell if she was repulsed by the idea or… something else. 

Best not linger on it too much.

“Well?” Yui glanced at her, one hand on the handlebar, “get on.”

Shaking off whatever it was that was building up within her, Feng Min hesitantly climbed onto the bike, slotting herself behind Yui. She sat on the very back edge of the seat, staring at the meager space between herself and Yui, and felt heat rise on her cheeks again. 

Just what in the world was wrong with her? 

Yui peeked at her over one shoulder, a dry look. “Unless you want to get comfortable with the gravel, scooch closer and grab onto me.”

“I know!” Feng Min sniped. “I’m not a kid. I know how bike riding works.”

Without thinking, she slid herself down the seat, pressed herself against Yui’s back and wrapped her arms around her midriff.

“There, happy?” Feng Min spat out, cheek pressed into the collar of Yui’s jacket at the back of her neck.

“Elated.” The sarcasm dripping from that single word was enough to make Feng Min look up at Yui’s head, in time to see her pull her goggles over her eyes. “Try not to cop a feel too much.”

Feng Min just had a split second to realize that her arms were pressed against Yui’s bare abs,  _ very  _ well-defined abs, before a loud roar engulfed her senses and she felt like her soul was yanked out of her body and left behind as the motorcycle peeled off at inhuman speed.

An involuntary scream tore its way out of her throat as Feng Min squeezed herself tighter against Yui, face buried into her back, eyes squeezed shut. It was like being on a roller coaster, except with no safety harnesses strapping her to her seat. And so she clung ever tighter onto Yui for dear life, praying and begging to any deity that would listen for this to end with her intact and not splattered into a red paste on the road.

Through the loud scream of engine and howling wind, Feng Min could just barely hear Yui’s shouting voice. “Relax, you’ll be fine!”

“ShutupIhateyou!” Feng Min screamed back, the words melding back into a new shriek of utter terror, eyes still squeezed shut, face squished against Yui, arms an iron cinch around her waist.

A fresh scream was ripped from Feng Min as she felt the entire bike tilt a hard right, going so low she could’ve sworn she felt the road just barely whisking past her shoulder. Then the bike righted itself and Feng Min tightened her grip even more than it already did as she felt herself lurch to the side in the seat. Before she even had a chance to repair her frayed nerves, the bike banked the other direction and she screamed again.

_ I’m gonna die! _

That phrase played in a loop in her head as she clung onto Yui like her life depended on it, which very much was the case. 

After what seemed like hours, the bike slowed and sputtered to a stop, the wind stopping its constant assault on her eardrums. Feng Min instantly threw herself off the bike, stepping onto the sidewalk on wobbly legs. She was bent over, hands on her knees, panting. Her ears still buzzed and she felt light, like she was going to keel over any second. 

“You alright?” Yui’s voice reached her just as she spotted a pair of boots enter her periphery.

Anger flared in Feng Min, briefly overcoming her vertigo. She let out a growl and shoved at Yui, who barely budged. In fact, Feng Min was the one who stumbled one step back so solid was Yui’s stance. That just inflamed Feng Min even more.

“Yeah, I’m just peachy, thanks for asking.” Feng Min snapped, glaring at Yui. “ Not like I didn’t just have like twenty near-death experiences at the same time.”

Yui just stared back impassively. “You were never in danger.”

Feng Min scoffed in disbelief, opened her mouth to argue, decided it wasn’t worth it. She just shook her head and looked forward away from Yui, marching towards…

… a diner? The sign above the building read ‘Sawyer’s Family Diner’. Feng Min frowned; she knew this diner, it was about a two-minute drive away from Autohaven. Why the fuck were they here? Was Yui trying to fuck with her again?

“Um, Autohaven is further down.” Feng Min said, glancing at Yui with equal parts confusion and annoyance.

“I am well-aware.” Yui replied, stepping up to the diner. “It’s almost two and it’s lunch break. So here we are.”

“What?” Feng Min couldn’t help blurting out. 

Yui paused, turned, and gave her a bemused look. “Lunch, the meal you have in midday or early afternoon.”

“I know what lunch means!” She said through gritted teeth. “I mean, why are we here? Aren’t you supposed to be bringing me to Autohaven to pick up my car?”

“And that is what I intend to do, but like I said, it’s lunch break.” She then looked knowingly at Feng Min. “It’s not good to skip meals.” 

“What makes you think I haven’t eaten already?” Feng Min said defensively, crossing her arms. 

Yui’s gaze turned bemused. “You really want me to answer that? Now stop wasting time, I know you’re hungry. The sooner we finish here, the sooner you get your car back.”

Yui pushed her way into the diner, not even letting Feng Min get a word in. She groaned in frustration and half contemplated just walking the rest of the way to Autohaven, not wanting to let Yui have her way. But then her growling stomach betrayed her, the delicious aroma of cooked food wafting from the diner to her as Yui entered, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything since last night’s cold and stale pasta.

The thought of tasting fresh and professionally cooked food almost had her salivating right there.

Grumbling to herself, Feng Min followed after Yui.

The diner was packed and bustling with overlapping voices. She eventually spotted Yui near one end, seated at an empty table, looking at her amidst the handful of waiters carrying dishes and rowdy customers chatting and laughing heartily. Feng Min weaved her way there and sat across from Yui, arms crossed and grimacing, looking out the window at the main road.

“You been here before?” Yui spoke after a moment, her voice just audible over the din of background noises.

Feng Min shook her head once, still staring anywhere but at Yui.

Yui sliding the menu in front of Feng Min caused her to look down at it, then she fixed a hard glare at Yui.

“Choose.” Yui said.

“I can pick the menu up myself, thank you very much.” Feng Min pointedly lifted the second menu from the menu holder and started flipping through it.

“You’re very difficult, you know that?” Yui placed the menu she’d slid to Feng Min back on the holder. 

“Only to those who deserve it.”

“And I do?”

Feng Min stared at Yui past the top of her menu. “You think?”

Yui gave a half-hearted shrug as she shifted in her seat, leaning her hands onto the table. “Know what you want to order yet?”

“Stop rushing me.” Feng Min said curtly as she returned her attention to the menu. 

“Order the Sawyer Special if you’re indecisive.”

“I’m not being indecisive! You’ve literally only given me ten seconds to look at the menu. I’m not the Flash.”

“Who?”

Feng Min looked at Yui in disbelief. “You don’t know who—” she caught herself, shook her head, and returned her focus to the menu. “Nevermind.”

Barely five seconds had passed before a waiter arrived at their table, looking to take their order. Feng Min suppressed a groan.

“Morning, Jedidiah.” Yui said, a warm smile on her face as she looked up at the waiter, matching her equally warm greeting. 

A smile and words that she had never directed at Feng Min before. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of annoyance along with something else.

“Fine morning, Miss Yui.” The waiter responded cheerfully, baby-faced and cute in that boyish way, Feng Min supposed, not that she could tell. “Let me guess, the Sawyer Special and black coffee?”

“You know me so well.”

The waiter, Jedidiah, turned his attention to Feng Min. “And what about your friend here?”

Sharp eyes snapped up to him, causing him to flinch, smile faltering. “I’m not her friend!”

“O-oh, sorry for assuming.” He let out a nervous laugh, eyes flickering between her and Yui. “So, what’ll you have then?”

“I’ll have the uh…” Feng Min quickly browsed through the menu, cursing the lack of time she was given, “... Sawyer Special.” She’d picked the first item that had the chef’s hat icon next to it. She flipped to the drinks section. “And I’ll have… a glass of orange juice.

“Alrighty, two Sawyer Specials, black coffee, and orange juice coming right up.” Jedidiah said chirpily as he wrote into his notepad. “You ladies enjoy yourselves.”

He left, leaving the two of them alone.

The tension that hung between them as they waited was so palpable Feng Min could taste it in the air, bitter and suffocating. Yui spent most of it idly drumming her well-manicured fingers against the table and staring at Feng Min, her gaze indiscernible. Feng Min, meanwhile, did everything in her power to not react underneath the scrutiny, focusing on everything but the infuriating woman before her; the other patrons of the diner, the occasional car puttering along the road outside, that weird stain on one corner of their table.

By the time their drinks were served, not a single word was spoken between the two of them. Feng Min fingered her glass of orange juice, staring at the way the liquid sloshed within as she shifted the glass.

“We didn’t fuck.”

Feng Min stiffened, her hands stilling. Her eyes darted up to Yui, who was sipping her coffee, still staring at her, looking completely nonchalant. 

“What?”

“I know you’re curious about whether Kate Denson and I fucked or not.” Yui said, her tone neutral, even as red tinged Feng Min’s cheeks. “We didn’t. We checked into a motel and we talked, but we never went beyond that.”

Feng Min’s mouth flapped open, then closed as she tried to comprehend the topic of this conversation that came up completely unprompted. What was Yui up to? What’s her angle? Was she trying to rub it in Feng Min’s face, that she got to spend the night with Kate Denson while Feng Min slept alone, crying and pent-up and frustrated?

Yui’s fucking with her. She had to be. That’s all she’d been doing to Feng Min since they met. Pushing her around, messing with her, invading her personal space, and wreaking havoc on her emotions till she had no idea what she’s feeling. 

Stealing Kate Denson’s attention away from her.

A lump rose in Feng Min’s throat as memories of that night involuntarily rose to the forefront of her mind. She viciously shoved it back, though it boiled just beneath the surface, threatening to destroy her barely-there composure. She scowled and glared at Yui, anger masking her fracturing state.

“What makes you think I care?” Feng Min said, voice too forceful and too brittle. 

A slight shrug. “Just wanted to clear the air.”

“Do I look like I give a fuck?”

“Do you?” Dark brown eyes pierced through her, sharp and discerning. 

Feng Min shifted in her seat, just barely managed to prevent her discomfort from showing. She muttered, too soft. “No.”

Yui continued staring. Feng Min looked down at her hands, toying with her glass of orange juice. 

Not like she had anything to hide anyway. Why should she care about what Yui and Kate Denson did that night? It didn’t concern her. Whatever Yui did in her free time with whoever was her business and had nothing to do with Feng Min. So why should she care? Not like Yui owed her an explanation. They weren’t friends. Hell, even acquaintances might be pushing it.

So no, Feng Min wasn’t lying when she said that she wasn’t interested in what happened between Yui and Kate.

Not at all.

Feng Min believed that wholeheartedly.

But why though? Why went through all that trouble of flirting with Kate, getting the two of them alone in a motel, and then  _ not  _ having anything happen? And after Yui oh so delicately declared to Feng Min what she was going to do with Kate as well. What was the point if she wasn’t going to follow through with it in the end?

But luckily, Feng Min didn’t care whatsoever. 

Nope.

“Right.” Yui finally said, still staring, clearly believing Feng Min’s words about as much as Feng Min herself.

“It’s true!” Feng Min insisted defensively, voice raising. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince. 

“Okay.”

“I’m not lying!”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“You don’t have to.”

Yui quirked an eyebrow at her. “You’re a paranoid one, aren’t you?”

“Only when it comes to you.”

Mirth danced in Yui’s eyes. “I’m flattered.”

A glare. “It’s not a compliment.”

“I know.” That infuriating smirk returned across Yui’s face.

“Ugh, you’re impossible.” Feng Min rolled her eyes, exasperated, and sipped on her orange juice, wondering what was taking their food so long.

She needed something to distract herself with before she absolutely lost it, which seemed to be a risk whenever Yui was involved.

As if summoned by her thought, a perky waitress arrived with their orders, placing it before them with a flourish before running off to tend to another table. It was a lot, like, a lot. The wide plate was filled to the brim with various cuts of meat; bacon, sausages, ham slices, pork ribs, a large piece of lamb chop, and a pile of mashed potatoes, all of it slathered with thick gravy.

The aroma almost had Feng Min’s mouth watering. All those months of eating nothing but pasta had left her starved for something with substance, and it was just placed before her on a platter.

“Dig in.” Yui’s voice pulled her back to reality. “Don’t be shy. I won’t judge.”

Feng Min scowled at her and said. “Like I give a fuck what you think.” 

She picked up her utensils and focused her entire being on shoveling as much food as can fit into her mouth. She almost moaned in pleasure at how delicious it was. It had been so, so long since she’d eaten anything with actual flavor that wasn’t carbonara or tomato sauce. The meat was juicy and succulent and salty and the mashed potatoes were smooth and creamy.

It was quite possibly the best meal she’d had in a while, maybe even years, if her regular eating habit was any indication.

“I take it that it’s up to standard?” 

Feng Min finally looked up from her meal to see an amused Yui staring at her. She had barely touched her own food, the lamb chop about a quarter eaten.

Feng Min swallowed and frowned. “Have you just been watching me eat this whole time?”

“Maybe.”

“Weirdo.” 

“Look who’s talking.”

Feng Min rolled her eyes and continued digging in, putting the other woman out of her mind. She cleared her plate in record time, leaning back onto her seat, feeling completely and utterly satiated. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this good after a meal. Going back to her usual diet was going to be a challenge after this feast.

“I take it the food is serviceable?” 

Yui’s question pulled Feng Min out of her reverie, instantly wiping the smile from her face. She grimaced and crossed her arms and stared out the window.

“It’s okay.” She grumbled.

A soft chuckle, causing Feng Min’s eyes to snap back to Yui with a glare. Yui met it with one of playful mirth.

“It won’t kill you to say something nice, y’know.” 

Feng Min harrumphed, then glanced down at Yui’s plate. It was still mostly full, prompting a groan of irritation. “Can you eat any slower?”

“It’s my lunch break.” Yui said as she leisurely cut a slice of lamb chop. “I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.”

“Enjoy it faster.”

Yui ignored her.

Another groan, this time of impatience. She slumped into her seat. “And here I thought this was going to be over and done with in thirty minutes.”

“You in a rush?”

Feng Min fidgeted, refusing to look at Yui. “No.”

“Then enjoy yourself. It’s nice to be out once in a…”

The suddenness of the pause made Feng Min look at Yui again. She was staring at her, slight mischief in her eyes. 

“What?” Feng Min said, instantly on alert.

“You thought this would be over and done with in thirty minutes?”

“Uh yeah? I just said that, didn’t I?”

That familiar smirk spread on Yui’s face again as she leant forward and Feng Min stiffened, aware of the spike in her heartbeat.

“So you spent almost an hour prettying yourself up, putting on makeup for what you thought was going to be a half hour outing at most?” Her eyes twinkled, almost smug and self-satisfied. “I’m flattered.”

It took a second for the meaning behind Yui’s words to sink it and when it did, indignation lanced through her. It took several more seconds for her to be able to speak properly without sputtering.

“Wha—I… you… I didn’t do it for you!” Feng Min cried, face turning red as she glared at Yui. “What is it with you and stupid assumptions? I like makeup, okay! Is that a crime? I did it for myself, not you!”

Yui gave a single nod, still looking smug. “Okay.”

It was extremely obvious Yui didn’t believe that, which just infuriated Feng Min even more.

“I didn’t! I did it for me, I just thought since I was going out, I might as well. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Of course.” 

“It doesn’t!”

“I hear you.” That self-satisfied smirk never left Yui’s face as she resumed eating. She wasn’t even looking at Feng Min anymore.

Feng Min let out a cry of frustration and collapsed into her seat, arms crossed, grumbling to herself. “Whatever, just hurry up, The sooner this is over with, the better.”

Annoyingly, Yui continued eating at a leisurely pace, as if she had all the time in the world while Feng Min stewed impatiently in her seat. Eventually, she settled for distracting herself by playing a game on her phone. She wasn’t even two minutes into it when Yui spoke.

“So, do you have any hobbies?”

Feng Min looked up from her phone, arching an eyebrow. “Really? Small talk? We’re really gonna do this?”

Yui gave a half shrug as she chewed. “Why not?” She eyed Feng Min’s phone. “I take it you’re a gamer?”

“What gave it away?” Feng Min said drily.

“I used to play quite a bit.”

“Oh? You don’t seem the type.”

“Not anymore. Used to play the PS1 back in the day, then I stopped. I think they’re at 3 now.”

“PS5 came out a couple months ago.”

Yui stared at her for a while. “Huh, they sure churn those out fast.”

“Not really worth it unless you really want the console-exclusive games.”

Yui hummed as she cut a piece of sausage and brought it to her mouth. Feng Min stared. Yui caught her eyes and Feng Min quickly glanced back at her phone, her heart skipping a beat.

“I want to apologize.” Yui said abruptly after a stretch of silence. 

Feng Min’s eyes darted up to her, confused. “Huh?”

Utensils clinked softly onto porcelain as Yui laid them down, rested her arms on the table, and fixed her gaze at Feng Min, who tensed up as she did so. She was surprised by how soft Yui’s stare was. Feng Min flushed despite herself.

“That night, during Kate Denson’s performance.” Yui’s words were clipped and concise, like she’d rehearsed it beforehand. Through it all, her gaze never wavered from Feng Min’s. “I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and I did something extremely petty for the sole purpose of hurting you, someone who I barely knew. It was childish and extremely shitty of me. So I’m sorry.”

Memories of that night flooded Feng Min’s memories and all the accompanying emotions with it; anger, sadness, fear, self-deprecation, envy, hate, and others that she couldn’t or wouldn’t name. She remembered the way Yui yanked her hair and manhandled her and whispered harsh words in her ears and the conflicted emotions it stirred in her, she remembered her seduction of Kate and the jealousy that bloomed. 

It was almost too much to bear.

And so, she did what she did best.

Anger lanced through her, almost catching her off-guard in how strong it was. She let out a bitter scoff. “You just had to be the bigger person, didn’t you?”

A frown marred Yui’s face, she opened her mouth to say something but Feng Min pressed on.

“You couldn’t just let me hate you in peace for what you did.” Feng Min wanted the words to stop, but they just kept pouring out like a broken dam. “No. You had to be the bigger person and apologize, and make me look like the bad guy.”

“That’s not—”

“Of course not, because you’re so noble and shit.” Feng Min glared out the window. “Just hurry up.”

Silence. Then the clinking of utensils.

Feng Min felt sick inside, bile threatening to flood her throat. The anger that burnt so brightly just seconds ago rapidly turned into disgust and guilt and shame. All Yui did was apologize, not that she should be the one to apologize in the first place since she wasn’t in the wrong, and Feng Min tore into her for it.

She couldn’t even remember why anymore, why she got so mad in the first place. She should just apologize, and yet the words refused to come out, lodged deep in her lungs. All she could do was avert her eyes and sit there.

_ I really am a piece of shit. _

The silence that hung between them was palpable; not even the hustle bustle of the diner was enough to drown it out. Feng Min felt her flesh squirming under her skin, she couldn’t sit still, she wanted to leave but she remained bolted to her seat. The familiar pressure mounted inside her, threatening to suffocate her, the kind of pressure only relieved in the buzz of inebriation. 

But this diner didn’t serve alcohol, and she couldn’t very well chug herself into a stupor right in front of Yui, never mind before she had to drive her car. So all she could do was sit there and keep herself from falling to pieces, putting on a mask of indifference and anger to mask her shattering self.

“I’m done,” Yui’s voice cut through the miasma clogging her mind, “let’s go.”

Yui was already standing and heading towards the exit by the time Feng Min turned to her, placing a couple of notes on the table as she did so. Feng Min remained seated for a moment, a pit in her stomach, then stood and trailed after her. Yui remained silent as she got on her bike and waited for Feng Min. 

It took Feng Min a couple of seconds to work up the courage to climb on and slid her hands, almost meek and tentative, around Yui’s waist. 

“Hang on.” Yui said as she pulled her goggles down, her voice clipped, that familiar stoicism returning.

Guilt continued stabbing at her as Yui revved the engine and peeled off from the sidewalk. Yui didn’t speed as fast as she did when she first picked Feng Min up, going at a much more reasonable pace. Feng Min preferred the first time, because then she’d be too worried about her own mortality to stew in her own actions.

They arrived at Autohaven much too fast and much too slow. Yui parked her bike next to the garage door and the two of them made their way inside, the heavy silence looming. Philip looked up from the worktable he’d been at and beamed at them.

“Ah, you’re finally here, how did the…” he trailed off, the smile slipping from his face when he took them in, sensing the tense atmosphere between them. He covered it with a clear of his throat, putting on a new smile as he walked up to them. “Well, your car’s good as new.” He patted Feng Min’s car. “Just need you to make the payment and you can take her home.”

“Sure.” Feng Min managed to mirror his smile as she said it, wavering as it was, and beelined for the office, keeping her eyes firmly forward.

She didn’t relax even as she closed Philip’s office door behind her, or when Philip himself entered a few minutes later, and she signed the necessary documents and made the necessary payments. She could feel Philip giving her a few curious glances through it all, and the questions he wished to ask, but for whatever reason he kept it to himself which Feng Min found surprising. For an old man, Philip sure loved to gossip like someone decades younger.

Either way, she was thankful he didn’t pry.

Yui was tinkering with… something - a car engine, Feng Min guessed - when she returned to the garage. Yui didn’t stop or acknowledge her presence in any way, just continued working at the piece of machinery on the workbench. Feng Min lingered by her car door, fiddling with her car keys. 

She should say something, anything. But again, the words refused to come out. She hated herself for her weakness, hated Yui for making her feel this way, and hated that she was thinking this much about Yui. Not even David, arguably the person she’s closest to, did she afford that much thought to. 

There were a thousand things she could say, but all that came out was a weak “Thanks for the ride.” 

Yui didn’t respond, didn’t even look her way. The pit in Feng Min’s stomach grew ever deeper. The air in the garage became suffocating. Feng Min got into her car, pulled the door shut…

“Don’t mention it.” Yui’s response was soft, barely audible. 

When Feng Min’s eyes snapped to her, she wasn’t looking her way, attention focused on her work. Then Yui turned to her, piercing brown eyes inscrutable. Feng Min flinched, fought the urge to look away and held her gaze. Again, she tried to speak, to say the two words that could fix what she did earlier.

But again, she couldn’t and shame burnt in her. 

_ Weak. _

Feng Min broke eye contact, slammed her car door shut, and started the engine. Without a second look, she peeled out of the garage, all the while her heart and head continued pounding, threatening to overwhelm her.

By the time Autohaven had disappeared from her rearview mirror and she began collecting her wits about her, the first coherent thought that came into her mind was that Yui probably wanted nothing to do with her after what happened, which was what Feng Min had wished for since she met Yui.

So why did that thought make her sick?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that took longer than I thought it would. Been a busy and hectic couple of months, but I got it done: a new chapter. Enjoy!


End file.
